For a long time art has been considered an essential part of all cultures in the world. However, nowadays people’s values have changed, and we tend to consider science, technology and business more important than arts. What do you think are the causes of this? What can be done to draw people’s attention to art?

#time #art #part #cultures #world #people’s #values #science #technology #business #arts #attention

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People

Suggestion

Peoples'

values have changed and

tent

have a tendency or disposition to do or be something; be inclined

tend

to consider science, technology and business most important than

arts

Suggestion

the arts

Accept space

Even tough have been considered an essential part of all cultures in the world. In my opinion is that one of the most of the causes of

this

Linking Words

belief is the big amount of different

electronics tools

Accept comma addition

electronics, tools

we have

acces

the right to enter

access

occurs

in these days that keep us distract from the rest of the

world

Accept comma addition

world, then

then

Linking Words

other

any of various alternatives; some other

another

reason could be that some governments do not give the support necessary to schools

Accept space

music and dance academies

Accept space

theaters

a building where theatrical performances or motion-picture shows can be presented

theatres

theatre

or even students that want to study but do not have enough money to pay their education in

Arts

Suggestion

the Arts

In addition

Linking Words

Accept space

people changed their preference on

othere

not the same one or ones already mentioned or implied

other

either

topics mostly

Accept comma addition

topics, mostly

for the domino effect in society

Accept space

for example

Linking Words

: If the

first

Linking Words

generation of a family had no access to any

knind

a category of things distinguished by some common characteristic or quality

kind

of education in arts in school or college or even in their town were not a community hall with enough funds to invest in

this

Linking Words

facility they will grow without

this

Linking Words

important matter with the consequence of multiply effect in the

Linking Words

generations.

Linking Words

However there

Accept comma addition

However, there

Suggestion

are

still people who care about

arts

Suggestion

the arts

and have a

strongly

Suggestion

strong

stronger

belief of

this

Linking Words

facility can influence for better other lives.Have been

demonstraded

having been demonstrated or verified beyond doubt

demonstrated

that many people

had get

Suggestion

had gotten

over in matter of addictions or different types of abuse through

Arts

Suggestion

the Arts

. I am of my opinion that

Accept space

on balance, that the governments should invest in Arts so that can be available in public

centers

an area that is approximately central within some larger region

centres

schools but

Accept comma addition

schools, but

mostly the change begin with us

Accept space

with the ones who believe in the power of

arts

Suggestion

the arts

in our lives.

Submitted by gabybmlu87 on Wed Jul 17 2019

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

271 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

STEM fields (Science, Technology, Engineering, and Mathematics)
evolve
technological advancements
overshadowing
financial pressures
practical careers
digital entertainment
accessible
integrated
curricula
fostering
emotional intelligence
public art projects
engage
interactive

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