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Writing Samples
Band 5

The chart below gives information about the number of social networking sites people used in Canada in 2014 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below gives information about the number of social networking sites people used in Canada in 2014 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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Before
us
Add a comma
,us
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 we have a bar graph that quantifies the citizens of Canada who utilized social media
sites
Use synonyms
 in two consecutive years 2014 and 2015. In general, maximum
Canadians
Change preposition
of Canadians
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 were interested in using a single social networking site in both time periods.
However
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 who loved using five
sites
Use synonyms
 for social media communication occupied the least possible place in the same years. As a starting point, 36% of Canadians utilized one social site in 2014 which is followed by a slight decrease of 8% of
people
Use synonyms
 in the following year. Followed by that, there is a minor decrease in
percentage
Add an article
the percentage
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 of
people
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 from 22% to 21% who rarely used social
sites
Use synonyms
 , and only one more percentage of Canadians were using two
sites
Use synonyms
 for communicating in 2015 than that in 2014.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
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 who liked using five
sites
Use synonyms
 doubled from 2% to 4% between the years 2014 and 2015. As a final point, we can observe a slight upgrade in
percentage
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the percentage
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 of
people
Use synonyms
 who used three
sites
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 and four
sites
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 with an increment of 4% and 3% respectively.

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words sites, people with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 4 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "decrease" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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