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Band 5

Many people work long hours, leaving very little  time for leisure activities. Does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages.

#people #work #hours #time #leisure #activities #situation
A saying goes
,
Accept space
,
thus
; "All
work
 and
bo
quantifier; used with either mass nouns or plural count nouns for indicating a complete or almost complete lack or zero quantity of
no
 play makes jack a dull boy".
However
, nowadays, people
work
 long hours without having
time
 for play activities. In my opinion,
this
 act should not be encouraged as the disadvantage
such
 as
health
 problem far outweighs the advantage.
Firstly
, a major benefit of working
overtime
 is the ability to earn more cash. Most companies pay for hours worked
for which
Accept comma addition
for, which
 is outside the normal working hours and
employees
Suggestion
employees'
 key into
this
, in order, to earn
overtime
 pay which can be used to meet pressing and out of normal needs.
Attimes
Suggestion
At times
, students and parents take up
this
overtime
 offers in order to meet up with  responsibilities and not disappoint their beneficiaries.
For instance
, in  a recent survey that was carried out by the University of North pole, It was discovered that 80%  of the foreign students
work
overtime
 so as to meet up with the housing bills as well as the 
students
Suggestion
student
 loan.
Thus
, the increasing rate of
overtime
 workers. On a contrary,
Overtime
work
 is  dangerous as  it can lead to
health
 problems. Working long hours without
time
 to play and even rest can cause more harm than good
.
Accept space
.
This
 is because continuous stressing of the body without any form of leisure activities will have a negative effect on
ones
Suggestion
one's
health
.The body is like an engine that needs to be put to rest and if
this
 is not done
this
 can lead to complications. Leisure  activities
has
Suggestion
have
positive effect
Suggestion
a positive effect
 on
health
 through the release of chemicals that makes us feel better both physically and mentally.
Thus
, it is advised that one should have at least an hour of play in a week.  To exemplify, in the recent publicised death of the
industy
the people or companies engaged in a particular kind of commercial enterprise
industry
 giant, Chief Badmus, it was discovered that that his
overtime
work
 routine and no
time
 for rest was a major contributor to his death.
This
 could have
being
have the quality of being; (copula, used with an adjective or a predicate noun)
been
 prevented if he had a balanced
work
 and play
habit
Suggestion
habits
. In conclusion, working long hours can help in making extra
currency
Accept comma addition
currency, however
however
, the disadvantage outweighs the advantage and
time
 should
also
 be set for leisure activities as a balanced
work
 system will go a long way in the general wellbeing of
people
Suggestion
the people
.
Submitted by oriree70 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • stress relief
  • productivity
  • economic growth
  • career progression
  • skill enhancement
  • quality time
  • financial security
  • leisure activities
  • physical health
  • personal relationships
  • stress-related illnesses
What to do next:
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