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Band 4.5

IMPROVEMENTS IN HEALTH, EDUCATION AND TRADE ARE ESSENTIAL FOR THE DEVELOPMENT OF POORER NATIONS. HOWEVER, THE GOVERNMENTS OF RICHER NATIONS SHOULD TAKE MORE RESPONSABILITY FOR HELPING THE POORER NATIONS IN SUCH AREAS.

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It is argued that, development in education and trade are crucial for the evolution of poor states.
However
, the authorities of richer nations should take more control to provide the basic need in
such
 areas.
This
 essay agrees with the latter view,
then
 will discuss how richer countries can provide help to poor nations and
then
 talk about the reasons why some improvements are essential in that
areas
Suggestion
area
. The primary reason, is that education, health and trade are considered the major resources to develop a
country
Suggestion
country's
 economy, while it is evident, that across the improvements in that
fields
Suggestion
field
, every country might be
enhance
Suggestion
enhanced
.
Moreover
, the society and government can collaborate together to improve the system. To illustrate, a recent study by Queen's University found that the legislation of 5 European countries has improved their system in diverse fields thanks to the help of advance technology and the contribution of citizens. The
second
 major reason, is related to the countries that are facing critical situations.
In other words
, at the present time, still there are some nations
where by
By or through which
whereby
 lack of government support cannot grow economically and financially. To tackle
this
 issue, the richer nations started to
provide
Suggestion
Provide
 education and medical treatment beyond extra charges.
In addition
, government should
sponser
assume sponsorship of
sponsor
 some awareness campaigns to extend better medical treatments with
finance
Suggestion
financial
 support.
For example
, recently a survey by USA academy carried out that the Manager of poor countries helped some area of South Africa that are in
critical situation
Suggestion
critical situations
a critical situation
, and it was noticed that the poverty of South America reached a peak from
last
 2 years. In conclusion, after having discussed pertinent points,
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
 believe that a good collaboration with other nations is considered a viable solution to promote the
countries
Suggestion
country
country's
 name.
Submitted by Nav on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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