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Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people think that it would be better for large companies and industries to move to regional areas outside large urban centers. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #companies #industries #move #areas #centers
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Present day industrial sector
Suggestion
The present day industrial sector
 is getting concentrated mostly
to
Suggestion
in
 urban areas. While shifting of big factories and manufacturing firms in the outskirts of the huge cities may create opportunities for growth of infrastructure and employment in the rural villages near to regional areas, it can
also
Linking Words
 create
economic burden
Suggestion
an economic burden
 on small scale industries. Major industrial setup requires additional development and construction
for
Suggestion
of
 the employer
othen
kitchen appliance used for baking or roasting
oven
even
Athens
 than just the industrial area. While industries employ numerous workers, facilities are required for proper functioning of industries including roads, accommodation, housing, local markets, schools.
hospitals etc.
Accept comma addition
Hospitals, etc.
Hospitals etc.
For example
Linking Words
, the industrial township of Faridabad located in the outer areas of the Indian capital city
i
refers to the speaker or writer
I
.
e
Suggestion
E
 New Delhi, has
population
Suggestion
a population
 of over 20
lakhs
Suggestion
 with all the infrastructure required for
fulfillment
a feeling of satisfaction at having achieved your desires
fulfilment
 of basic needs of workers and their respective families. Creation of industrial setups in the rural areas straight away creates job opportunities for people from nearby villages. Due to ease of
accesibility
the quality of being at hand when needed
accessibility
 from the nearby villages, employers give priority to people from adjoining places to work in their
industries
Suggestion
industry
.
For example
Linking Words
, In Faridabad Industrial town 60 percent of workers come from nearby villages while later 40 percent belongs to people from other parts of the country. Working
of
Suggestion
in
 big
industruies
the people or companies engaged in a particular kind of commercial enterprise
industries
 largely depend on several small scale industries which assist them for raw materials. Shifting of big industries to distant places will straight away hamper the financial costing required for transportation of goods.
For example
Linking Words
, in year 2018, small scale industries of Jodhpur suffered a major downfall in their
economy
Suggestion
economic
 due to shifting of major industries outside the town. With the rapid growth of economy in developing countries, it is becoming almost impossible to keep
industrial sector
Suggestion
the industrial sector
 concentrated to cities only. Though
such
Linking Words
 changes create negative impact on
small percentage
Suggestion
the small percentage
 of
country's population
Suggestion
the country's population
a country's population
, it is beneficial for a large mass of people who gets direct benefits
from
Suggestion
of
such
Linking Words
 changes.
Submitted by Tarun on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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