IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Science could help people live up to 100 or 200 years. Would it be a good or bad development? Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#science #people #years #development
With the advent of technology, folks could have a
longer
Suggestion
long
life
 of 100 or 200 years by inventions in science. While some opine that
this
 is a negative development that could be a predicament to the family members, I believe that
this
 benefits the people living longer with a sense of purpose in their lives. On the one hand, masses with a
longer
Suggestion
long
life
 could get benefited in many ways, the most specific one is being able to
fulfill
put in effect
fulfil
 their bucket list would give them a sense of purpose and completeness in their lives before they expire.
In other words
, nowadays, people are extremely busy working and earning to reach the family needs with no
time
 to think about themselves, while they reach the
time
 to think, they are suffering from maladies. Whereas, if they live longer, they could be able to have quality
time
 for themselves and live with exuberance towards the ending days of their lives.
Hence
, in my perspective, advancement in science by increasing the length of human lives is undeniably advantageous to all.
On the other hand
,
although
 the benefits of
this
 phenomenon are numerous, there are a few drawbacks in
this
, the most prominent is
dependency
Suggestion
dependent
 on their offsprings. It means, older people living longer need to depend on their
children which
Accept comma addition
children, which
 would bother the family members as almost all are working with no
time
 to look after the elderly people. To conclude,
although
 there are a few disadvantages in the development of science to increase the
life
 expectancy of the masses,
this
 advancement could certainly benefit the folks to have a complete
life
.
Submitted by drnavajyothid on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: