Shopping is favourite pastime for most of the young people .Why do you think that? Do you think they should be encouraged to do some other useful activities?

People in their adolescent
age
do lots of shopping just to pass their time rather doing some productive task. I believe, they should be motivated to do fruitful activities which in turn provide a good benefit to themselves.
To begin
with, doing varieties of activities for pastime has become commonplace for different
age
group
,
Accept space
,
but especially
teenagers are
Accept comma addition
teenagers, are
found to be inclined
toward
Suggestion
to
shopping which may be due to
myriads
Suggestion
the myriads
of reasons
,
Accept space
,
such
as at
first
they are so much influenced by advertising; that are developed to captivate people’s attention,
as a result
younger are
involving
Suggestion
involved
in shopping more often. At
second
, adolescents are not conscious in comparison to old
age
people in saving
money
due to which if they get
money
, they will either go for entertainment or do buy things without a
second
thought.
For instance
, my sister’s daughter, who is running at 16’s
,
Accept space
,
has a
habit
of doing lots of shopping: she has more than 40 dolls and 20 pairs of sandal in her home. While, shopping
habit
is considerably
increasing
Suggestion
increased
in these days, I think parents and elder people should encourage young people to do productive activities. The reason is extravagant
habit
of
young
Suggestion
the young
could get reflected in elder
age
too;
this
not only affect
Suggestion
doesn't only affect
them but
also
to their parents.
Furthermore being
Accept comma addition
Furthermore, being
prodigal might cost them much in coming days,
for
instance one
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instance, one
might need
money
to pursue the desire like studying in
aboard
Suggestion
a board
which requires lots of
money
so, if youngster contribute their time in learning activities
,
Accept space
,
it can help to some extent to create a more comfortable life in
future
Suggestion
the future
. In conclusion, shopping is necessary, but recklessly spending
money
on it is definitely not good so, elder people should motivate their younger to be more productive and control their spending
habit
.
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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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