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Writing Samples
Band 5

*Films and games can be accessed at any time from mobile devices, like smartphones, tablets and laptop computers. Do the advantages of such developments outweigh the disadvantages?*

#*films #games #time #devices #smartphones #tablets #laptop #computers #developments
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It is undoubtedly true that technological advancement
has bring
Suggestion
has brought
 about the high rate to access films and games on the move. Despite the benefits
this
 trend might have, the drawbacks greatly outweigh the upside. Admittedly, the ability to access films and games from mobile
device
 proved to be one of the fastest remedies to
stress
 management.
in
Suggestion
In
 other word, people are able to manage
stress
 at
work
 by watching films or playing games that relief them of
stress
.
Furthermore
,
this
 limit depression in people as they are able to engage in activities that makes them happy.
For example
, it is reported by New York Times that the most effective
stress
 management is my watching movies on devices for 5min in every 3hours.
Nevertheless
, there are drawbacks to accessing films and games on
device
Suggestion
the device
a device
 as it the major contributory factor to lack of social interaction among people recently. In the
first
 place, most people no longer see the need to relate with people as they are most often engross using their
device
.
This
 has affected family and
work
 interaction.
secondly
Suggestion
Secondly
, accessing movies and games on mobile has greatly affected the productivity of people at
work
 as
this
 has been proven to be a major distraction. To illustrate, Facebook reported that after
restricted
Suggestion
restricting
 the use of mobile devices to watch movie at
work
, employee’s efficiency improved by 30%. To sum up, Despite the advantages of using
device
 to watch games or film, it limitation
such
 as decrease in productivity at
work
 place and
also
 the decrease in social interaction among people
far outweigh
Suggestion
far outweighs
 any of its benefits.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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