IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the value of one’s country exports in various categories during 2015 and 2016. The table shows the percentage change in each category of exports in 2016 compared with 2015.

The chart below shows the value of one’s country exports in various categories during 2015 and 2016. The table shows the percentage change in each category of exports in 2016 compared with 2015.
#value #one’s #country #exports #categories #percentage #change #category
The bar chart provides data about the income that one country received from the exportation of five different categories of
products
 in two separate years, 2015 and 2016,
while
 the table represents the changes that they experienced during the
two-years
Correct your spelling
two-year
show examples
 period.
Overall
, the highest income is generated from the exports of
products
 derived from
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
black gold and from engineered items,
while
 exports from textiles produced less value even though compared with the
Correct pronoun usage
other
show examples
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
others
Correct pronoun usage
other
show examples
 categories
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
experienced the highest increase in the
second
 year. Regarding the first year,
while
 petroleum and engineered goods stood at just under $60
billions
Correct your spelling
billion
show examples
 and $58
Add the preposition
ofbillions
show examples
billions
Correct your spelling
billion
show examples
 export earnings respectively, agricultural
products
 and textiles earnings were the least export earnings in both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
years.
Following
this
, gems and jewellery earned equal money
round
Correct your spelling
around
show examples
 about $42
billions
Change to singular
billion
show examples
 in these two years. With regard to the table, the largest change
took
Wrong verb form
taken
show examples
 in textiles that
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
was
boost
Wrong verb form
boosted
show examples
 up 15.24% in 2016 compared to
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
2015,
on the other hand
, gems and jewellery plunged down to 5.18%. All other
products
 change in 2016 like agriculture
products
, petroleum
products
, and engineered goods escalated by 0.81%,3%, and 8.5% respectively.
Submitted by fedebarca22 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words products with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "compared" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "go" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: