There is an increasing amount of advertising directed at children, which encourages them to buy goods such as toys and snacks. Many parents are worried that these advertisements put too much pressure on children, while some advertisers claim that they provide useful information to children. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

It is irrefutable to say that world is full of
advertisement
Suggestion
advertisements
which gives impacts on the
childerns
. There are spilt
opionions
a personal belief or judgment that is not founded on proof or certainty
opinions
regarding to effects of
advertisement
on
childern
a young person of either sex
children
. Some people believe that children
are feel
Suggestion
are feeling
have felt
feel
so much pressure to buy goods
such
as toys and snacks because of increasing in
advertisement
Suggestion
the advertisement
. Whereas, another group of thinkers
support
Suggestion
supports
that
advertisement
provide some
knowledgable
highly educated; having extensive information or understanding
knowledgeable
and
usefull
being of use or service
useful
information to children.
Therefore
, before
commmenting
a statement that expresses a personal opinion or belief or adds information
commenting
on my views, both the opinions would be discussed. Advertisements are the strategy to get the attention of the people and increase
there
of them or themselves
their
popularity and sales.
which
Suggestion
Which
also
effects to the children as well. Many parents are worried because of
advertisment
a public promotion of some product or service
advertisement
infulence
a power to affect persons or events especially power based on prestige etc
influence
chidlren
a young person of either sex
children
in
negative way
Suggestion
a negative way
negative ways
. The
advertisement
shows some
clostly
entailing great loss or sacrifice
costly
toys and unhealthy food
such
as snacks which intimate
to
Suggestion
with
children to
buys
Suggestion
buy
these type of goods. But parents are denying to buy them for children.
Moreover
, children feel so much angry and high tension in their mind. Example lays and
unclechips
are not healthy for the children. But children are
attrattive
Suggestion
attracted
attractive
attentive
iterative
to snacks and they do fight with their parents to complete their demands. On the hand
advertisement
people believe that they are providing some useful knowledge to the children.
Firstly
, Some toys have so much
technology which
Accept comma addition
technology, which
teach
Suggestion
teaches
about how to use in the future.
Such
as racing car, it
teach
Suggestion
teaches
to
chidlren
a young person of either sex
children
that how the car run and drive.
Secondly
, Some goods increase
there
of them or themselves
their
ability of
leaarning
the cognitive process of acquiring skill or knowledge
learning
and problem
such
as
rubicube
advertisement
. To conclude, I would like
say
Suggestion
to say
that there are so many effects of
advertisement
over the children. So, parents
needs
Suggestion
need
to guide them and teach
them which
Accept comma addition
them, which
advertisement
are good. The government has to take steps from there side.
Submitted by iN on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

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Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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