IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In many countries today, people buy a range of household goods ( television, microwave, oven and rick cookers) Is it a positive or negative development?

#countries #people #range #household #goods #television #microwave #oven #rick #cookers #development
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, a great number of electric appliances were used in household,
such
 as television, microwave, oven and rick cookers. The impacts of it should be considerate. Personally, I think the positive effect is more than the negative effect. The major advantage is that the high technologies of those appliances provide people an efficient live.
For instance
, using the wash machine
is saved
Suggestion
has saved
saves
 time in cleaning clothes. If the wash machine was not invented, people need
do
Suggestion
to do
 all processes by themselves, include putting water, adding laundry powder, cleaning clothes, which spend hours.
However
, the machine
release
Suggestion
releases
 people’s hands by doing all the steps in an auto way.
Therefore while
Accept comma addition
Therefore, while
 the devices do their job, the time which was not enough to wash clothes could be spent on multiple things. As the result, the living efficiency of
live
Suggestion
life
 is improved.
On the other hand
, when more and more electric equipment
are used
Suggestion
is used
 in
house
Suggestion
the house
, the using of electric power would increase, and most of electric power is produced by fuels.
Consequently
, that growth will add the CO2 in
environment
Suggestion
an environment
the environment
, which is the main reason of climate changing,
such
 as global warming.
However
,
this
 situation would not
last
 for long when nuclear which is replacing fuels becomes important as energy resources.
For example
, the electric that powered by nuclear in France was doubled in ten years, So the disadvantage of it will lower in future. In summary, I think while the negative impact of numerous household goods (television, microwave, oven and rick cookers) is decreasing, the positive side of it is more.
Submitted by rainbow97512 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: