IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Nowadays, some employers think that formal academic qualifications are more important than life experience or personal qualities when they look for new employees. Why is it the case? Is a positive or negative development?

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In recent years there has been a significant shift in the human resource field, specifically in recruitment. More and more focus is being placed
in
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on
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 a
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candidate
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candidate's
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 educational
achievements
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 rather than personal experiences. There are several arguments for
this
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 change of tactics which can be considered unfavourable in some cases. It is undeniable that educational
achievements
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 are the most important proof of personal accomplishment, if not the only one, that a recent graduate can put on his resume to impress recruiters. Educational
achievements
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 often come in
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the forms
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forms
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form
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 of diplomas, certificates, awards or other types of documents with stamps of authenticity from authorised institutions. Based on
this
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 accredited system,
recruiter
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a recruiter
the recruiter
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 can easily evaluate the
ability
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 of a
candidate
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 and select the suitable one for the job. Candidates with high educational
achievements
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 are
also
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 often associated with personal qualities
such
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 as hard
working
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work
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,
ability
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 to learn fast
and
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apply
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willingness to learn new things, etc. These are some of the most important traits that will enable a person to excel in any position.
Therefore
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, it is not by
coincident
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coincidence
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 that recruiters place a high weight on a
candidate
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's academic qualifications in the evaluation process.
Although
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 it is a logical evaluating tactic,
this
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 is perhaps not the most reasonable one in terms of selecting the most potential
candidate
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. Nowadays, it
is required
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requires
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 a lot more than a good university transcript with excellent grades to excel at work. Soft
skills
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such
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 as
team work
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teamwork
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,
ability
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 to adapt to changes, reliability or
ability
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 to multitask are in high demand, especially for manager positions.
Unfortunately
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Unfortunately,
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 these
skills
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 are often either overlooked or poorly incorporated in the current grading system at most schools. They
are
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apply
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,
however
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, can be easily seen through a
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candidate
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candidate's
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 personal life experiences
such
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 as volunteer activities, part-time work or personal hobbies. It is
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, therefore,
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therefore
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 a crucial mistake for any recruiter to ignore these parts of a
candidate
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's profile and focus solely on his educational background as the main criteria, for the
above mentioned
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above-mentioned
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 soft
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skills
Add the comma(s)
skills,
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 are as important as any other professional
skills
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 for anyone to excel at their appointed position. In conclusion, it is understandable that recruiters can rely on educational accomplishments as the main criteria in the selection process.
However
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,
this
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 can not be considered as
as
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a
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 positive trend as soft
skills
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 that are documented through personal experiences should
also
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 be taken into consideration in
this
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 process.

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task response
Provide more specific and relevant examples to support your points. Make sure to connect your ideas more coherently within and between sentences.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay demonstrates effective use of logical structure, introduction, and conclusion. Consider using more cohesive devices to link your ideas and improve overall coherence.
lexical resource
Use a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas with more depth and precision. Incorporate more academic and formal vocabulary throughout your essay.
grammatical range
Pay attention to sentence structure variety and complex grammatical structures to showcase a wider range of grammatical forms and accuracy.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • standardized measure
  • specialized expertise
  • dedication
  • long-term goal
  • higher education
  • practical skills
  • adaptability
  • problem-solving abilities
  • communication skills
  • teamwork
  • leadership
  • homogeneous
  • diverse perspectives
  • negative development
  • inequality
  • valuable skills
  • insights
  • balanced approach
  • proficiency
  • safety standards
  • candidate's profile
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