IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Individuals can do nothing to improve the environment; only governments and large companies can make a difference. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#individuals #environment #governments #companies #difference
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Some people consider that just governmental leaders and big companies can alleviate environmental problems and take action on global warming, while the contribution of citizens has no impact on improving the environment. From my perspective, I strongly disagree with the viewpoint. On the one hand, there are several rationales why they think that the conservation of nature depends on governments’ movement. The most persuasive evidence is that governments can create many jobs in relation to the environmental protection.
For example
Linking Words
, the road sweepers are accountable for cleaning streets so governments can employ the large quantity of the
labor
a social class comprising those who do manual labor or work for wages
labour
.
However
Linking Words
, if citizens do not discharge garbage on the street, rural and urban areas will clear;
therefore
Linking Words
, governments can reduce costs in employing the
labor
a social class comprising those who do manual labor or work for wages
labour
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, I believe that should each individual have
responsibility
Suggestion
a responsibility
 to protect the environment, the globe will be significantly improved. In other word, when
inhabitants
Suggestion
the inhabitants
 have the environmentally friendly actions we can fight climate change.
For instance
Linking Words
,
instead
Linking Words
 of using private vehicles, people can opt for public transportation to move;
hence
Linking Words
, the amount of carbon footprint, which has an adverse effect on
ozone layer
Suggestion
the ozone layer
, will decrease significantly.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, if people do not have irresponsible
behaviors
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviours
such
Linking Words
 as demolishing illegally forests or hunting terrestrial mammals and marine animals, the animals and their habitats will not be jeopardized.
As a result
Linking Words
, several animals will not be
in
Suggestion
on
at
 the brink of extinction. In conclusion, owing the aforementioned arguments, I believe that not only do governments and big companies take action on global warming, but each individual
Linking Words
also need
Suggestion
also needs
 to have consciousness in preserving the environment.
Submitted by hongsoncht on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • environmental awareness
  • sustainable practices
  • renewable energy
  • carbon footprint
  • waste reduction
  • conservation
  • ecosystem
  • pollution
  • climate change
  • responsibility
  • leadership
  • legislation
  • investment
  • collaboration
  • systemic change
What to do next:
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