IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Most high-level positions in companies are filled by men even though the workforce in many developed countries is more than 50 percent female. Companies should be required to allocate a certain percent of these positions to women. do you agree?

#positions #companies #men #workforce #countries #percent #women
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In a male dominated society, females have to fight for their rights.
Although
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 more than fifty person of the employees are women, the highest posts are mainly occupied by men in the in the developed countries. There should be a justifiable way to distribute these positions equally in both genders. I strongly agree with
this
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 statement. In the developed countries,
however
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 the women are equally competent as men, due to gender discrimination, they are not motivated and appreciated for their work.
Moreover
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, take an example of any field, more than 50% of their lower staff consists of females.
For instance
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, the hospitals are run by a male administrator,
on the contrary
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, the working doctors and nurses are mostly women.
Therefore
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, the females are not considered suitable for leading positions. In todays world of revolution, it is an utmost important to change the typical mindset. The companies should be held responsible to allocate the fixed percentage of positions to females only, because if they are capable enough to work on lower positions, they can take over the responsibility of higher posts as well.
For instance
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, my mother was a school teacher for fifteen years, after that she was offered a post of Principal which she managed properly and is considered as the best principal, up to date. To conclude, more women work on junior levels than men because they are not promoted to senior posts. I agree with the aforementioned suggestion that certain percentage should be kept reserved for women in leading positions, in all the companies.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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