IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Insomecountries,healthcareandeducationareonlypartiallyfundedby thegovernment.Somepeoplearguethatthegovernmentshouldbe responsibleforcoveringthefullcostoftheseservices.Doyousupportor oppose the opinion? Explain your position.

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Introduction
In many parts of the world, authorities do not provide
necessary resources
Suggestion
the necessary resources
 for free
education
Use synonyms
 and
healthcare
Suggestion
health care
 to the populace. But isn't
this
Linking Words
 the responsibility of
government
Use synonyms
 to run and manage
health
Use synonyms
 and
education
Use synonyms
 infrastructure? While it is a contentious topic, I personally side with the notion that
health
Use synonyms
 and
education
Use synonyms
 sector should be public and fully supported by
incumbent
Suggestion
the incumbent government
government
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss that provision of basic amenities like
education
Use synonyms
 and
health
Use synonyms
 should be
responsibility
Suggestion
responsible
 of bureaucracy as they collect taxes, and marginalized section of society
can not
can not
cannot
 afford exorbitant private schooling as well as
treatment
Use synonyms
.
Body paragraph 1
To begin
Linking Words
 with, since governments in almost all of countries deduct monthly taxes from income of
general public
Suggestion
the general public
 in
name
Suggestion
the name
 of providing basic infrastructure
such
Linking Words
 as clean water,
education
Use synonyms
 and
health
Use synonyms
then
Linking Words
 it is their duty to wholly fund it.
For instance
Linking Words
, even though
current regime
Suggestion
the current regime
 in Pakistan has substantially raised the taxes, still rudimentary
health
Use synonyms
 facilities are available to citizens and they have to pay for
treatment
Use synonyms
 of some maladies.
Body paragraph 2
Moreover
Linking Words
, in the absence of a
government
Use synonyms
 supported
health
Use synonyms
 and
education
Use synonyms
 sector, poverty stricken people not only avoid regular medical
checkups but
Accept comma addition
checkups, but
 will prefer quacks for cure in case of being diagnosed with any disease.
As a result
Linking Words
 of seeking medical advice from unregistered and unqualified medical practitioner, they are more likable to inflict themselves with other fatal diseases.
For example
Linking Words
, Because of high charges incurred for
treatment
Use synonyms
 of Hepatitis C in private hospitals and no
government
Use synonyms
 support, a vast majority of people prefer quacks which can exacerbate their medical condition.
Conclusion
In conclusion, As authorities charge taxes and duties to public for rendering of basic needs like
healthcare
Suggestion
health care
 and
education
Use synonyms
,
Accept space
,
 they should be accountable for fully supporting
health
Use synonyms
 and
education
Use synonyms
 facilities.
Also
Linking Words
, multitudes of people living below poverty line
can not
can not
cannot
 afford private medical
treatment
Use synonyms
 and are forced to seek medical assistance from unqualified doctors. Indeed, if
treatment
Use synonyms
 at reputable hospitals is financed by authorities
then
Linking Words
 a disease at
early stage
Suggestion
an early stage
early stages
 can be cured.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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