Some people think children’s spending time on TV, video and PC games is good, while others think it is bad. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #children’s #time #tv #video #pc #games

Nowadays, children have more and more kinds of entertainment from outdoor to indoor. Most of them like spending

time

, video and

games rather than participating in outside activities. In my opinion, parents should allow their children to use these devices for learning and

entertainment but

Accept comma addition

entertainment, but

they must control the amount of

time

their children use.

To begin

with, we are coming to a global society where people can improve knowledge through television or personal computer.

Instead

of going to school, children can learn at home by watching education channels on television or searching information on the internet.

Besides

, if

surrounding area

Suggestion

the surrounding area

is too complicated and parents do not have

time

to watch out their naughty kids, they must find a watcher to keep children from danger which can happen at

anytime

Suggestion

any time

, video and

games are the best devices to complete

mission

Suggestion

the mission

a mission

with the least price.

On the contrary

, spending too much

time

has some disadvantages for health not only physically but

also

mentally. The people who often watch screen more than eight hours per day can be easily acquired eye diseases

such

as myopia or

amblyopia

. Sitting before the

every day and having nobody to talk to, children

also

lack social communication skills. It makes them feel uncomfortable and

unconfident

when dealing with others.

In addition

, if children spend too much

time

Suggestion

, they don’t have enough

time

to study and do exercises.

As a result

, these kids cannot get

high

Suggestion

higher

score and cannot achieve success in learning. In conclusion,

, video and

games have a few advantages in relaxing and

learning but

Accept comma addition

learning, but

parents need to control the

time

that children spend on them. When they

are taken

Suggestion

are taking

have taken

take

good advantage of, especially for educational purposes, they can be very useful for the parents who can’t spare much

time

for their children.

Submitted by anhson0402 on Tue Aug 27 2019

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Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

316 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

cognitive development
educational opportunities
technical skills
digital future
cultural exposure
screen time
physical health
obesity
eye strain
violent content
inappropriate content
parental supervision
setting boundaries
behavioral impact
mental health

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Some people think children’s spending time on TV, video and PC games is good, while others think it is bad. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Whether or not a person achieves their aim in life is mostly related to luck. Disagree or agree?

With the development of social media, more and more youngsters are being allowed unsupervised to the internet in order to meet and chat with friends, which can lead to potentially dangerous situations. What solutions can you suggest to deal with this problem?

some people think that men and women have different qualities, therefore certain jobs are suitable for men and others for women. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that secondary schools should spend less time teaching traditional subjects like history and spend more time on teaching subjects like communication skills and business. Do you agree or disagree with this view?

Friendships that take place online are not as meaningful as those where people meet each other face to face. To what some extent do you agree or disagree?