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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart illustrates the percentage change in average house prices in New York, Madrid, Tokyo, Frankfurt and London by compared the average house prices in 1990 to 1995 and 1996 to 2002 with the average house prices in 1989.

The chart illustrates the percentage change in average house prices in New York, Madrid, Tokyo, Frankfurt and London by compared the average house prices in 1990 to 1995 and 1996 to 2002 with the average house prices in 1989.
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The chart illustrates the percentage change in average
house
Use synonyms
prices
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 in New York, Madrid,
Tokyo
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, Frankfurt and London by comparing the average
house
Use synonyms
prices
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 1990 to 1995 and 1996 to 2002 with the average
house
Use synonyms
prices
Use synonyms
 in 1989.
Overall
Linking Words
, three of five cities had
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
average
house
Use synonyms
prices
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 1990 to 1995 lower than the average
house
Use synonyms
prices
Use synonyms
 in 1989,
whereas
Linking Words
 there was only
Tokyo
Use synonyms
 had
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
average
house
Use synonyms
prices
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
from
show examples
 1996 to 2002 lower than the average
house
Use synonyms
prices
Use synonyms
 in 1989. When comparing the average
house
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prices
Use synonyms
 in 1990 to 1995 with the average
house
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prices
Use synonyms
 in 1989, the average
house
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prices
Use synonyms
 in New York,
Tokyo
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 and London were cheaper
around
Change preposition
by around
show examples
 5% or more
while
Linking Words
 the average
house
Use synonyms
prices
Use synonyms
 in Madrid and Frankfurt were higher
around
Change preposition
by around
show examples
 3%. The average
house
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prices
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 between 1996 to 2002 in New York and Madrid increased
about
Change preposition
by about
show examples
 5%, in Frankfurt increased
about
Change preposition
by about
show examples
 2% and in London increased
over
Change preposition
by over
show examples
 10%,
whereas
Linking Words
 in
Tokyo
Use synonyms
 still dropped 5% compared with the average
house
Use synonyms
prices
Use synonyms
 in 1989.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 95%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words house, prices, tokyo with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "illustrates" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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