IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many developing countries, there are major problems with the quality of air and water from both industry and construction. What problems has this created? What solutions could be provided to prevent this?

A lot of countries are facing the issue of
air
Use synonyms
 and
water
Use synonyms
 pollution.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 essay will discuss what problems
this
Linking Words
 has created for the public.
Next,
Linking Words
it will talk about what
are
Correct word order
apply
show examples
the possible solutions
to
Correct word order
are to
show examples
 avoid
this
Linking Words
. At
this
Linking Words
 point, a large number of countries are dealing with bad
air
Use synonyms
 and
water
Use synonyms
quality
Use synonyms
 caused by industry and construction. Large companies throw
there
Use the right word
their
show examples
wastes
Correct subject-verb agreement
waste
show examples
 in
water
Use synonyms
 or pollute the
environment
Use synonyms
 with toxic gases.
This
Linking Words
 causes a lot of problems to the public,
people
Use synonyms
 start wearing masks
due to
Linking Words
 the
air
Use synonyms
quality
Use synonyms
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
water
Use synonyms
 is so toxic at some places that drinking without
filter
Correct article usage
a filter
show examples
 can cause diseases like dengue and malaria.
For instance
Linking Words
, Delhi, the capital of India, is the second most polluted city in the world
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 its
air
Use synonyms
quality
Use synonyms
 has been decreasing since
2016
Punctuation problem
2016,
show examples
 says the Ministry of
Use synonyms
environment
Fix capitalization
Environment
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, India. A report by BBC
news
Fix capitalization
News
show examples
 found that the
air
Use synonyms
quality
Use synonyms
 was equally as bad as smoking forty packs of
cigarette
Fix the agreement mistake
cigarettes
show examples
 and increased the chances of cancer by 40%. Burning of crops and industries
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 responsible for
this
Linking Words
 in Delhi.
Similarly
Linking Words
, the same report found that the
water
Use synonyms
quality
Use synonyms
 in
Banglore
Use the right word
Bangalore
show examples
, India, is so terrible that if unfiltered
water
Use synonyms
 is
consumed
Punctuation problem
consumed,
show examples
 there is
80
Correct article usage
an 80
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% chance of having a disease.
Following
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, with worse
air
Use synonyms
 and
water
Use synonyms
come’s
Wrong verb form
comes
show examples
 the risk of diseases.
This
Linking Words
 can be eliminated if the authorities take strict
actions
Fix the agreement mistake
action
show examples
. The best possible solution would be imposing heavy fines on those dumping chemicals in the
water
Use synonyms
 and those releasing
carbon-dioxide
Use the right word
carbon dioxide
show examples
 in the
air
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, making
people
Use synonyms
 aware
about
Change preposition
of
show examples
 the effects bad
Use synonyms
environment
Replace the word
environmental
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 condition has on
people
Use synonyms
 so that they themselves take
initiative
Correct article usage
the initiative
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 to help reduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pollution in the city.
For example
Linking Words
, the government of Delhi announced
strict
Correct article usage
a strict
show examples
 ban on crackers, even on festivals, as they contribute equally to the pollution. In conclusion, factories should be held accountable for the troubles they are causing to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
nature. Strict measures should be taken against them
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 should be
acknowledged
Verb problem
informed
show examples
 about the ongoing situation. With
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
environment
Use synonyms
 comes
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
 life for the living beings.

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improvement
Plan your essay with a short plan before you write. Put the main idea in the first sentence of each paragraph.
improvement
Make the link from problems to the solutions clear in each paragraph.
advice
Use more facts or simple proof to back up the ideas, and be careful with facts.
grammar
Fix word or spelling mistakes and use grammar that is easy to read.
advice
Use a clear topic sentence at the start of each paragraph to show the main idea.
structure
There is a real plan and a clear flow in the essay.
content
You use real city names and facts to show what you mean.
structure
The use of linking words (Firstly, Next, Following this) helps reader follow the idea.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • industrial emissions
  • airborne pollutants
  • water contamination
  • respiratory diseases
  • biodiversity loss
  • soil contamination
  • waste management
  • clean technologies
  • environmental regulations
  • public awareness campaigns
What to do next:
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