IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

In the last 20 years, there have been significant developments in the field of information (IT) , for example the worldwide web and communication by email. However , future developments in IT are likely to have More negative effects than positive? To what extent do you agree with this view.

#years #developments #field #information #web #communication #email #future #effects
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As a result
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 of advancement in
technology
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, there are changes in different aspects of
life
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.
From
Suggestion
For
previous 20 years
Suggestion
the previous 20 years
, IT sectors have gone through significant developments
,
Accept space
,
for example
Linking Words
 the
worldwide
Suggestion
world wide
 web and communication by email. Whereas, future developments in the field of
information
Use synonyms
technology
Use synonyms
 are likely to create more problems than its benefits. I
am agree
Suggestion
agree
have agreed
 with
this
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 view to
large extent
Suggestion
a large extent
.
To begin
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 with
,
Accept space
,
 developments in IT are accompanied with many negatives.
Firstly
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,
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,
 in
this
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 modern era
,
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,
 people have become
digitalized
Suggestion
 and all their personal
information
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 is in their mobile phones which can be result detrimental for them as within
ba
indefinite article, "an" is use before a vowel sound, "a" otherwise
a
 click other person can have
this
Linking Words
information
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 and can be misused.
For instance
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,
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,
 if a their gets bank account details of
other
any of various alternatives; some other
another
 person
,
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,
then
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individual
Suggestion
the individual
an individual
individuals
 can steal money
.
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.
Secondly
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,
Accept space
,
 developments in
information
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 results in
lack
Suggestion
the lack
 of privacy as there are lots of applications which
needs
Suggestion
need
 access to photos
,
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,
 contact list and so on
,
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,
thus
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 personal details can be a powerful weapon for bad person.
On the other hand
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,
technology
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 has made
human
Suggestion
the human life
life
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 more convenient by making available all the
information
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 as now one can have
information
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 about any course
,
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,
 recipe
,
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,
 and so forth. Basically
,
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,
information
Use synonyms
technology
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 has
provide
Suggestion
provided
 answers to questions
,
Accept space
,
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however increase
Accept comma addition
however, increase
 in crime rate is a consequence of development in IT sector because
lot
Suggestion
a lot
 of content is available on the web.
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Thus people
Accept comma addition
Thus, people
by
Suggestion
from
 accessing the
information
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 individual can commit crime. To conclude
,
Accept space
,
 developments in IT sector
has made
Suggestion
have made
 human
life
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comfortable but
Accept comma addition
comfortable, but
also
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 results In lack of privacy and a danger to human
life
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.
Accept space
.
However
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,
Accept space
,
 there should be
restriction
Suggestion
a restriction
restrictions
 on the use of
information
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by mukeshrohilla210 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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