IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

You recently received a letter from a friend asking for advice about whether to go to college or to try to get a job. You think he/she should get a job. Write a letter to this friend. In your letter: say why he/she would not enjoy going to college explain why getting a job is a good idea for him/her suggest types of job that would be suitable for him/her

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Hey, I hope you’re doing fine. I received your letter yesterday regarding the suggestions whether to pursue studies or to join a
job
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. As it is your career decision, I want you to take your decision maturely. I know you have discontinued your education due to family financial reasons. I would suggest you
to
Remove the particle
apply

The verb join appears to be in the subjunctive mood. Consider removing the particle to.

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join a
job
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 so that it will be good for your future.
Although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 you have
college
Correct article usage
a college

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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 gap I know you can study well and graduate, still I feel you wouldn’t enjoy your studies to show interest as much as you used to be before. I am suggesting you
to
Remove the particle
apply

The verb search appears to be in the subjunctive mood. Consider removing the particle to.

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search for a
job
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 which you enjoy at most and makes you independent. It
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

 helps you to support
you
Correct pronoun usage
yourself

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

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 and your family. I remember you used to love
teaching
Correct article usage
the teaching

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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 profession. Nothing makes you happier than doing what you love. I think you should search
a
Change preposition
for a

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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job
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

 as a teacher, which can help you to educate many students and a good opportunity for you
learn
Fix the infinitive
to learn

It seems that the use of particle to may be incorrect here.

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 new things
everyday
Replace the word
every day

The word everyday may be used incorrectly. Review the following notes to determine the appropriate usage for your context.

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. I hope my suggestions are useful to you, get back to me if there’s anything else. Bye! Godspeed!

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The Closing

The style of the letter determine how you have to close it.

Check out the suggested closing sentences for each type of letter in the General IELTS Test. The closing sentence should be the last sentence of your letter.

Formal style (To someone you have not met, whose name you don’t know)

  • Yours faithfully,

Semi-formal (To someone you may or may not have met, whose last name you know)

  • Yours sincerely,

Informal (To someone you know well, whose first name you know and use)

  • Best regards,
  • Warm wishes,

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Real-world experience
  • Practical experience
  • Financial independence
  • On-the-job training
  • Student loan debt
  • Personal growth
  • Professional networking
  • Career development
  • Skilled workers
  • Job market
  • Career goals
  • Immediate income
  • Professional relationships
  • Market demand
  • Defining interests
  • Educational investments
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