IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people believe that men and women are equal and so women should be able to do any job they want. Others feel that men and women are not equal and therefore there are certain jobs which are not suitable for women. What is your opinion?

#people #men #women #job #jobs
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Women and men have different abilities to do
Use synonyms
work but
Accept comma addition
work, but
trend
Suggestion
the trend
 has been changed, now people
cannot be differentiate
Suggestion
cannot differentiate
cannot be differentiated
 the
work
Use synonyms
 should be done by male or female. We are in a country where we have equal right to perform things. People having orthodox thinking have perception that female should not
work
Use synonyms
 at all.
However
Linking Words
, the youth
is understanding
Suggestion
understands
 the need as well as
importance
Suggestion
the importance
 of gender equality. Excluding males or females from certain professions in accordance of their gender its sometime good for the society as well as for the person performing jobs. Like nursing jobs are done by the women because according to the report women are more hygienic and share a great level of camaraderie when someone is in pain and for female patients is better to have
woman
Suggestion
a woman
 as a nurse because of
comfort level
Suggestion
the comfort level
. Other heavenly works in
factory
Suggestion
a factory
factories
 like coal mining are performed by men because it needs a high endurance for that
work
Use synonyms
. Giving equal opportunities and all sectors to male and female employees and workers
accept
Suggestion
accepts
 few professions can lead to a good economic value growth of the country.
For example
Linking Words
MasterChef which
Accept comma addition
MasterChef, which
 are popular from India basically are men and on the other side, the foreign minister of India was Sushma Swaraj, a lady who represents India and its affairs in the best way which leads to have
good relationship
Suggestion
a good relationship
 between other countries. According to a report from
TOI female teacher
Suggestion
the TOI female teacher
 under primary school are the most effective compared to male as females having a great sense of understanding when it comes to to
handling
Suggestion
be handling
is handling
 a child. Hammering the nail, gender equality should be there for a prosperous and economic balance society, removing male or female from certain professions is right to an extent as it only leads to betterment for the society but equal chances are given to both genders.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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