IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Employers should give longer holidays to employees to encourage them to work harder. Do you agree?

#employers #holidays #employees #work
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Employees are the backbone of any company, the productiveness of the employees is directly
propotional
properly related in size or degree or other measurable characteristics; usually followed by 'to'
proportional
proportionate
 to the overall performance of the
comapny
an institution created to conduct business
company
. I believe, that the number of holidays that each employee gets motivates them to
work
Use synonyms
 harder, and employers should take
this
Linking Words
 under consideration. Longer holidays to the employees mean more time to relax and spend with their loved ones, so that when the employee comes back to
work
Use synonyms
 he/she is refreshed. Research shows that human beings have a certain productivity time, they cannot
work
Use synonyms
 more than a limit and it is imperative that they are given
sufficent
of a quantity that can fulfill a need or requirement but without being abundant
sufficient
 breaks. A longer break would mean that they can switch themselves off from the
office
Use synonyms
 and can
concenterate
make denser, stronger, or purer
concentrate
 on things that they enjoy.
Consequently
Linking Words
, when they come back to
Use synonyms
work they
Accept comma addition
work, they
 are energized and ready to start
work
Use synonyms
 fresh.
Secondly
Linking Words
, when the employees are given longer breaks, they can use them to manage their chores outside of
work
Use synonyms
 like
maintance
activity involved in maintaining something in good working order
maintenance
mountains
 of house, trip to visit parents etc.
This
Linking Words
 is an ideal way to help employees manage their household and
work
Use synonyms
 without any stress. The employees can
then
Linking Words
concenterate
make denser, stronger, or purer
concentrate
 on the
work
Use synonyms
 in
office
Use synonyms
 free of any distractions.
Thirdly
Linking Words
, longer holidays count as an incentive to the employees. Research
in
Suggestion
on
into
 human
behviour
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
behaviours
 shows that incentives are one of the biggest
motivator
Suggestion
motivators
 for human beings.
This
Linking Words
 can allow the employees to
work
Use synonyms
 harder at
Use synonyms
office
Suggestion
the office
 to be rewarded with more and
long
Suggestion
longer
 holidays. I completely agree that employers should give longer holidays to the employees because it refreshes their system, allows them to manage their life chores other than
Use synonyms
office
Suggestion
the office
 and motivates them to serve quality in the
office
Use synonyms
,
this
Linking Words
 in all pushes the employees to
work
Use synonyms
 harder.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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