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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The crime rate among teenagers has increased dramatically in many countries. Why is this happening and what can be done to reduce it?

#crime #rate #teenagers #countries
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The prevalence of crimes cannot be completely
avoided but
Accept comma addition
avoided, but
 there has been a great upsurge in the
rate
Use synonyms
 of immoralities among young adults in numerous nations. While
this
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 could be due to lack of parental care as well as familial poverty, it can be brought down to a minimum by interventions from the government.
Firstly
Linking Words
, lack of parental care is the major culprit in teenage crimes. According to a survey conducted by the Society of Family Health, divorce
rate
Use synonyms
 over the past decade has experienced an increment by forty-five percent, and children from these homes are most times left to shuttle between living with different relatives at different points, so they
most often
Suggestion
more often
 than not are not given the proper parental guidance they deserve,
hence
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 get introduced to crimes by peers.
In addition
Linking Words
 to
this
Linking Words
 is the poverty
rate
Use synonyms
 of many families. School fees cannot be afforded by many parents forcing children out of
school thereby
Accept comma addition
school, thereby
 exposing them to evil communications and
as a result
Linking Words
 engage in criminal acts. The solutions to
this
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 problem lies solely in the hand of the government as only
them
people in general
they
 can sensitize parents and encourage activities between couples which can reduce divorce rates and
also
Linking Words
 pass and enforce bills
such
Linking Words
 that education for children until university degree stage will be free thereby keeping them out of the street. In conclusion, the tremendous increment in the
rate
Use synonyms
 of immoralities among adolescents in many countries
are caused
Suggestion
is caused
 by the lack of parental care and increased poverty rates
of
Suggestion
for
 families and
this
Linking Words
 could be kept in check by sensitizing parents
hence
Linking Words
 reducing divorce rates and
also
Linking Words
 providing free education for teenagers.
Submitted by sanket.d2fan on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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