In country where there is a high unemployment, most pupils should be offered only primary education. There is no point in offering secondary education to those who will have no hop of finding a job. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In the contemporary world , unemployment is among the most consequential global issues. In many nations which are suffering from high rates of unemployment, some people believe that there is no need for the government to offer
education
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beyond primary level to most pupils. From my
points
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point
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of view, I completely disagree with
this
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belief because
education
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plays an important role in making young minds a part of the economy's skilled labour.
Firstly
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, higher
education
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allows young people to have a better employment
prospect
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prospects
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due to
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the fact that economies are becoming more and more knowledge-based.
In addition
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to that, repetitive jobs will soon all be done by machines and most
highly paid
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highly-paid
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jobs require specific savvy and
skills
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.
Therefore
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, the educational system needs to prepare a large number of students up to and beyond
primary
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the primary
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level with the
skills
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to meet the
demand
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demands
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of employers.
Secondly
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, secondary
education
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provides several crucial
skills
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that are not introduced in primary
education
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, making every student ready for his
future
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life and career.
For example
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, all high school students need to work on group assignments and
do
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apply
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presentations. All these tasks require them to work alongside others and help them develop team-building
skills
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, which is really helpful for their
future
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job.
On the other hand
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, secondary
education
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gives them the opportunity to explore technical subjects and aspects that may in fact allow them to have a successful career
future
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, especially for disabled students. In conclusion, I wholly disagree with the view that
education
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beyond
primary
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the primary
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level
does
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is
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not
need
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needed
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for children who do not have
good
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a good
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prospect of finding
job
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a job
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in the
future
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. Higher
education
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has a significant part to play in humanising the youth,
therefore
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, governments should invest more budget on
education
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,
partically
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particularly
in developing countries since it is the only way to develop
national
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the national
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economy and reduce the rate of unemployment.

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task response
Overall, you have provided a well-structured essay with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Your essay addresses the prompt effectively and presents a coherent argument.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, focus on transitioning between paragraphs smoothly. Consider using linking words and phrases to connect ideas and improve the flow of your writing. Additionally, ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and supports the main argument of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • controversial
  • critical thinking skills
  • technical expertise
  • entrepreneurship
  • self-employment
  • economic diversification
  • innovation
  • vocational training
  • academic education
  • employment landscape
  • blanket approach
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