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Band 5.5

Some people believe that if people are allowed to buy guns, they will be able to protect themselves and the crime rate can be lower. To what extent do you agree or disagree？

#people #guns #crime #rate #disagree？
People believe that
gun
 weapon should be legal for protecting themselves and reducing the
crime
 rate. In my opinion, I completely disagree with
this
 idea, using guns can make people feel safe, but it can increase the
crime
 rate.
Thus
, I think
gun
 weapon should be illegal for almost everybody. On the one hand,
gun
 weapon is used to shoot, hurt, or kill someone.
Therefore
,
allowance
Suggestion
the allowance
 of governments to
use
 guns can lead people buy them more; people can hurt easily other ones that can increase violence and
crime
 rates, and
also
 result in more the deaths.
For instance
, when people are angry, loss control their emotions and feelings, contrast with others, they can have unreasonable and bad activities
such
 as hurting some else which can make them regret, badly, they can kill others if they own guns. A great deal of
evidences
Suggestion
evidence
indicate
Suggestion
indicates
 that the number of criminals in countries where guns are legal to
use
 as United States is more than one in countries where people must not
use
 guns as Vietnam.
On the other hand
, owning and using a
gun
 can affect people’s psychology and
behaviors
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviours
 to become more violent and commit crimes easily. People can feel that hurting others
by
Suggestion
with
 guns is just self-
defense
(military) military action or resources protecting a country against potential enemies
defence
 and not
crime
Suggestion
a crime
, they are not false. They can
use
 guns to revenge or threaten others. An example of
that is
 if
authorities
Suggestion
the authorities
 allow people to
use
 guns, robbers can take advantage of
this
 that they buy guns and
use
 guns
for
Suggestion
to
 threaten people and easily carry out their
crime
. People will worry about that they can be hurt or killed when guns are used popularly. In conclusion, I believed that guns had better illegal to own and carry because they are dangerous weapons, and allowance to
use
 them can increase the violence and
crime
 rates.
Submitted by Thanh on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • advocate
  • debate
  • controversial
  • firearm
  • self-defense
  • crime prevention
  • deterrence
  • gun violence
  • gun control laws
  • public safety
  • accidental discharge
  • suicide prevention
  • impulsive
  • accessibility
  • legislation
  • firearm regulation
  • balancing
  • individual rights
  • crime rate
  • violence
  • arguments
  • opponents
  • supporters
  • proponents
  • second amendment
What to do next:
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