Shopping has become a new favourite for younger generation. why is this the case? should we encourage them to develop other hobbies too?

It is true that shopping is becoming increasingly popular among youngsters. Modern marketing methods influence many customers to buy products and make them feeling of instant gratification. I strongly believe that one should adopt other hobbies like sports or art to avoid unnecessary debts. The main cause of
this
development is that brands invest large amounts of money to collect and analyse customers' data. These modern techniques enable companies to influence customers specifically.
c
onsequently,
Suggestion
Consequently
these advertisements encourage people to purchase goods more often.
Moreover
, people like to buy expensive products to display t
here
of them or themselves
their
class and standard of living to others.
This
gives them instant gratification.
For example
, Rolex wristwatches are way more expensive than other watches.Many people buy these goods to show their class they belong to in society.
Furthermore
, youngsters should be encouraged to learn or develop other hobbies
such
as sports or art.l
earning
Suggestion
Learning
these hobbies will not only help youngsters to spend their leisure time e
ffectively but
Accept comma addition
effectively, but
also
have them to be financially stable, saving them from unnecessary credits. While sports can keep them physically and mentally fit, art can make them successful in life.
i
n
Suggestion
In
addition to
this
, youngsters can make these hobbies as their c
areer which
Accept comma addition
career, which
was not the case i
n
Suggestion
with
shopping.
For example
, Virat Kohli, An Indian cricket team member, Loved to play cricket when he was young and when he grew up he decided to make
this
sport as his career. Now he is one of the most successful sports persons in the world. In conclusion, I think people get influenced by marketing techniques and useless needs, other skills apart from shopping can be developed to avoid the unnecessary debts and effectively utilise leisure time.
Submitted by jaskarandvg on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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