We should introduce laws to make businesses and state services employ equal numbers of male and female workers in every department or area of the company.’How far do you support this idea? Give reasons for your answer, and support your essay with ideas and examples from your own experience.You should write at least 250 words.

#laws #businesses #services #numbers #workers #department #area #company #’how #support #idea

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

this

day and age, The introduction of

laws

to ensure equality between

men

and

women

labor

Change the spelling

labour

show examples

is a controversial issue, some people believe that enacting

such

laws

is unnecessary.

However

Change the capitalization

show examples

firmly believe that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

this

is necessary to solve the problem of gender imbalance in

laborand

Correct your spelling

labor and

this

essay, I will shed light on my opinion in the following essay. On the one hand, it is important to acknowledge that gender imbalances in the

workforce

are a real problem.

Firstly

, In the current era of development,

women

are still not represented in many fields, especially in senior positions.

This

not only reflects ethically, but it

also

has an economic impact because if the

company

has a diverse

workforce

, it will help the

company

better understand and serve customer needs.

For example

, when consulting customers, we need both

men

and

women

to more easily approach customers.

On the other hand

while

some argue that introducing

laws

to ensure equal representation of male and female workers could be counterproductive, I believe that

this

is not necessarily the case.

Although

it may be difficult for the

company

to select the

workforce

first,

this

can help the business get more good ideas from the

workforce

, which can help the

company

developing

Wrong verb form

develop

show examples

more.

However

, it cannot be denied that more

women

are needed in child care, just as in construction, more

men

are needed.

To sum up

, I believe that introducing

laws

to ensure equality in the

workforce

men

and

women

is a necessary step in creating a more diverse and successful

workforce

Although

there will be many challenges, in the long

run

Add the comma(s)

run,

show examples

it will create profits for the business.

Submitted by quynhtranhbh on Sun Nov 26 2023

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Ensure your essay has a clear and logical structure with distinct paragraphs for introduction, main points, and conclusion. Aim for a more cohesive progression of ideas.

task achievement

Address the prompt fully, including all parts of the task. Expand your ideas thoroughly and provide clearer, more developed arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

279 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Write about the following topic: Many people go through life doing work that they hate or have no talent for. Why does this happen? What are the consequences of this situation? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
It's a common phenomenon that many people end up in careers or jobs that they dislike or are ill-suited for. There are several reasons why this often occurs, and the consequences can be quite significant.
8.5
band
some people think that social networking sites have a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. to what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is commonly believed that social networking services have significantly damaging effects on both individuals and the community. In my viewpoint, I partly agree with this statement, whereas I would argue that there are also a number of benefits in this field. On the one hand, social media can be a threat to our health and children's social circle. According to the latest survey, more than half population overuse electronic devices to check applications, such as Instagram, Facebook, or Twitter, which may lead to various eye problems. Myopia caused by blue light or eye strain caused by overuse of phones is a salient example. Furthermore, since it is less likely to be able to sift information online, it is easier to learn inappropriate behaviours and make strange new people on online platforms. For instance, the young tend to use Instagram to get to know strangers, whether they are good, which could influence the normal quality of making friends. Therefore, these platforms indeed bri...
6.5
band
An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What can be done to deal with this situation?
Many service-oriented professionals from underdeveloped or developing countries migrate to developed ones for employment. Indeed these situations cause a brain-drain in their home country. These problems can be solved by the government by recognizing their valuable work and providing them with good pay.
5
band
Some people believe that allowing children to make their own decision on everyday matters (such as food, cloth and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe it is important for children to make decisions about matters that affect them.
Although it is sometimes thought that decision-making by children on their daily issues probably leads a community to focus on personal desires, some people are of the opinion that children need to decide about things that have impacts on them. Personally speaking, I would say that if younger people make decisions on their own, they are predicted to be more selfish when they grow up.
5
band
An increasing number of children are overweight which could result many problems when they grow older both in terms of their health and healtg care costs. Why do you think so many children are overweight? What could be done to solve this problem?
Recently, many children are overweight, which leads to their health problems. Outweigh in children is most often associate with several factors such as poor diet, a sedentary lifestyle and psychological factors. This essay will examine the reasons and solutions

Fully explain your ideas

Write about the following topic: Many people go through life doing work that they hate or have no talent for. Why does this happen? What are the consequences of this situation? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

some people think that social networking sites have a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. to what extent do you agree or disagree?

An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers, are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries. What problems does this cause? What can be done to deal with this situation?

An increasing number of children are overweight which could result many problems when they grow older both in terms of their health and healtg care costs. Why do you think so many children are overweight? What could be done to solve this problem?