IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Men and women are capable of doing all jobs equally well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#men #women #jobs
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It has been widely observed that women have the capacity to
work
Use synonyms
 equally with men in almost all fields. I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 trend as it has helped in
enhanching
increase
enhancing
 the workforce together with raising the standards of living of women.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, the tendency of working together under one roof has clear advantages.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 has helped women in participating effectively in the
work
Use synonyms
 places by contributing towards the
work
Use synonyms
-team.
Consequently
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 has enabled women to share the job related
task
Suggestion
tasks
, which is certainly advantageous for the company.
Secondly
Linking Words
, commuting tends to raise a living for them. What that means is, women could share the financial burden of their families together with generating
revenue which
Accept comma addition
revenue, which
 is helpful
for
Suggestion
to
 their families and children. To illustrate,
majority
Suggestion
the majority
 of the women in
europe
the 2nd smallest continent (actually a vast peninsula of Eurasia); the British use 'Europe' to refer to all of the continent except the British Isles
Europe
 are participating in the fields of
medicne
the branches of medical science that deal with nonsurgical techniques
medicine
,
Accept space
,
 technology and aviation and each year their proportion is on the rise.
Finally
Linking Words
, the long term impact of doing jobs is that more and more women could now get into their
desirious
the feeling that accompanies an unsatisfied state
desires
feilds
United States comedian and film actor (1880-1946)
Fields
fields
.
This
Linking Words
 has helped them in choosing the field of their own choice,
therefore
Linking Words
 promoting to the betterment of their families as well as society.
Hence
Linking Words
, women are
acing
causing a dull and steady pain
aching
 in the job scenarios equally along with men by forming
taskforce
Suggestion
a task force
task force
task forces
 and improving the standards of their life by earning lucratively and choosing a field of their own will. Admittedly, there are some fields in which men are outperforming women and
therefore
Linking Words
 women cannot contribute,
such
Linking Words
 as
army
Suggestion
the army
. On the top of that, family pressure could be another situation which could
setback
Suggestion
set back
 women to
work
Use synonyms
 in professional fields. Despite
this
Linking Words
, the advantages that women tend to provide in
work
Use synonyms
 makes
such
Linking Words
 trends less thoughtful. To conclude, women are working equally along with men in nearly all fields, and
this
Linking Words
 has enabled them to form
team
Suggestion
teams
 along with men together with supporting their family, and choosing a profession for
living
Suggestion
a living
.
Submitted by oldfartdaddy on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • gender equality
  • professional abilities
  • personal skills
  • qualifications
  • success stories
  • stereotypes
  • perceptions
  • education and training
  • gender differences
  • social benefits
  • economic benefits
  • gender-diverse workplaces
What to do next:
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