IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4.5

The table shows the Proportions of Pupils Attending Four Secondary School Types between 2000 and 2009. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The table shows the Proportions of Pupils Attending Four Secondary School Types between 2000 and 2009. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#proportions #pupils #four #school #information #features #comparisons
The table information
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the percentage of students registered in four types of
schools
. The survey was done on specialist, grammar, voluntary-controlled, and
community
schools
 in 2000, 2005, and 2009.
Overall
, the
students’
Correct your spelling
student’s
show examples
 attendance depicted the proportion of
community
schools
 had an upward trend
while
 other pupils became reluctant to attend
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
other types during the research time. In these
years
, specialist
schools
 witnessed an almost steady trend
about
Change preposition
of about
show examples
 11
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. Grammar
schools
’ pupils’ registration
also
 decreased and became half during
this
 period. Twenty-four
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of students were keen to be in these
type
Fix the agreement mistake
types
show examples
 of
schools
 in 2000
however
, it went down to 12% in 2009. The condition for voluntary-controlled
schools
 was different from the others. These types of
schools
 had the most pupils number among others in 2009
although
 it plunged to 20% in the
last
 year.
This
 depicted
community
schools
 became more popular in these
years
due to
 their considerable upward attendance trend from 12 to 58
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 2000 to 2009, respectively. In the first
years
Add a comma
,years
show examples
 most of the students wanted to be in voluntary-controlled
schools
while
 the
community
schools
 reached them and took their share during
10
Correct article usage
the 10
show examples
years
.
Submitted by Masud on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words schools, community, years with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "depicted" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: