IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people say that younger people are not suitable for important positions in governments of countries. Others, however, say that it is a good idea for the younger to take on these positions. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #positions #governments #countries #idea
It is often argued by some that offering higher positions in governments of nations are not appropriate for youngsters.
while
Suggestion
While
, others opine that it would be well enough to handle by them.
This
 essay will discuss about the different views and in my opinion
,
Accept space
,
it will be suitable for
younger generation
Suggestion
the younger generation
 to deal the higher posts because of their
thriving
having the power of driving or impelling
driving
 skills as well as innovation in their work.
y
Suggestion
You
Y
 On the one hand, many argue that influential positions in
government
 should only be given to older and experienced candidates.They say that experience
assist
Suggestion
assists
 them to take better decision making skills.
For instance
, in the case of military, general would be more effective than lieutenant who had recently graduated.
Additionally
, they believe that young people, due to the lack of knowledge about the field which makes catastrophic effects
in
Suggestion
on
 growth of
nation
Suggestion
the nation
a nation
nations
.For these reasons, the advocates of these groups believed that younger people are not adequate for these posts in
government
.
On the other hand
,
Accept space
,
some naysayers believe that young people can able to act effectively in higher posts of
government
 due to the fact of their
thriving
having the power of driving or impelling
driving
 skills.Younger generation brings creativity and their enthusiastic acts makes
big difference
Suggestion
a big difference
 in
growth
Suggestion
the growth
 of
country
Suggestion
the country
 than the older action.
for
Suggestion
For
 example, young
government
 health workers successfully raised the awareness of vaccine programs.
Furthermore
,
Accept space
,
due to the modern era
,
Accept space
,
 they can able to achieve new modern technologies into the
government
 acts
.
Accept space
.
 It will enable them to do everything within the no time situation.
Therefore
, young people could able to do effectively in
government
 related activities.
However
,
Accept space
,
having analysed the both perspectives
,
Accept space
,
I personally inclined to the latter group because of their creative Work and new innovation
such
 as computer knowledge can do
lot
Suggestion
lots
 of things when they approach in positions of
government
. To conclude
,
Accept space
,
although
 there are some strong arguments for and against both views, it seems to me for the whole benefit, young people should be selected to play key roles in the
government
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: