IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Do young people today make good use of their leisure time? Or do they spend too much time watching television and playing video games, instead of taking part in more productive activities?

#people #leisure #time #television #video #games #part #activities
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There is no doubt that today´s technology has come w
ith
Suggestion
to
good use in many areas of society at large.
However
Linking Words
, since the
last
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 decade modern technology s
ush
to so extreme a degree
such
as television, smartphones and video games in my belief have resulted in having a negative impact, especially towards the youth population and their free
time
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
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, young people nowadays have a much wider range of choosing which activities to proceed with during their free
time
Use synonyms
 because of today´s provided technology.
However
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, because of
this
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, the youth h
ave tended
Suggestion
has tended
in some ways to become more introverted and asocial due to lack of social interactions with other people.
For instance
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, a lot of
time
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 is spent on passive internet surfing s
ush
to so extreme a degree
such
as watching y
outube
Suggestion
YouTube
videos or scrolling through social media feeds, which in turn have lessened the opportunity of being social and to create connections with family and friends.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the human ability to e
mphazise
to stress, single out as important
emphasize
emphasise
when conversing has become highly jeopardized in the younger generations as the tendency to misunderstand has drastically increased. As to face these i
ssuses,
prepare and issue for public distribution or sale
issues
 young people should begin to spend their free
time
Use synonyms
 more wisely. Parents should use stricter rules and prohibit their children to spend too m
ush
(quantifier used with mass nouns) great in quantity or degree or extent
much
time
Use synonyms
 in front of a display. P
eople in
Accept comma addition
People, in
general, especially the youth should use their limited
time
Use synonyms
 to something meaningful, self improving and towards more physical activities s
ush
to so extreme a degree
such
as climbing, cycling or swimming. In conclusion, Young people are spending to m
ush
(quantifier used with mass nouns) great in quantity or degree or extent
much
time
Use synonyms
 in the digital world and other passive actions. They should
therefore
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 aim for activities which involves both interactive and physical e
xcersises
the activity of exerting your muscles in various ways to keep fit
exercises
exercise
in order to get m
ost
Suggestion
the most
out from their
time
Use synonyms
 off.

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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