Increasing car usage in many large global cities has caused a number of problems. Some cities have proposed banning private vehicles from the city centre. To what extent do you agree?

#car #usage #cities #vehicles #city #centre

has

Suggestion

Has

been noted that

rising

Suggestion

a rising number

the rising number

rising numbers

number

of companies are competing each other to sponsor popular sports around the world, with the aim of promoting their

company

name and products to more

number

of people. They sponsor individual

sport

stars to

sport

team or

sport

events of global interest and get opportunities to print

company

logo on players' jerseys, display banners or products at on site or receive an acknowledgement at

sport event

Suggestion

a sporting event

sporting event

sporting events

. While, economically sound larger companies looking for exclusive sponsorships to show their

company

image to the world, similar reputation

get

Suggestion

gets

by individual players when they sponsored by several companies

Suggestion

one time.

However

, people are divided on their opinion regarding sponsoring sports and some people argue that it is one of the most effective

way

Suggestion

ways

of promoting business products or services among people, others point out that there is a risk of irreversible damage to the

company

profile

unexpectedly

Suggestion

unexpected

. To start with, it is worth to note that sponsoring sports

gives

Suggestion

give

mutual benefits to both parties.

While

(often used as a combining form) in a good or proper or satisfactory manner or to a high standard ('good' is a nonstandard dialectal variant for 'well')

Well

company

Suggestion

the company

get

Suggestion

gets

a golden opportunity to access to

wider

Suggestion

the widest

number

of audience and increase their sales, sports get a chance to use that

money

to develop infrastructure and help their junior players financially. For an example, Hyundai

Company

who was a main sponsor of

last

world cup cricket match invested billions of

money

to get the chance, and recorded an accelerated rate of sales turn over after the series.

On the other hand

international cricket committee

Suggestion

the international cricket committee

used

larger portion

Suggestion

a larger portion

received

Suggestion

the received money

money

to develop cricket in low income countries.

In addition

to catch larger

number

, when

company

names

are repeatedly appear

Suggestion

repeatedly appear

on popular sports, they will become the

house hold

a social unit living together

household

names in

society

Suggestion

the society

. All these factors show that funding

sport

is no more a

non profit

not commercially motivated

nonprofit

or charitable work. Opponents

for

Suggestion

this

view show that sponsoring

sport

is not a fool proof method to promote commercial goods. If, the player or the team that

company

Suggestion

the company

is backing unable to perform well, it can badly

effect

have an effect upon

affect

on the sale. Some players can get sick or injured at the peak of the season and

money

invested by

company

becomes a waste. A larger damage could be

face

Suggestion

faced

company

Suggestion

the company

companies

, if players are involved in illegal things

such

as consumption of performance enhancing drugs. Some people say that

money

can damage the spirit of the

sport

and players may involve in match fixing even. Many cricketers are blamed for

this

type of incidences and two Australian cricketers had to leave the team due to

such

involvement. In conclusion, sponsoring

sport

is a vast industry today. It has given many advantages to sports as well as companies.

Disadvantages

Suggestion

The disadvantages

associated with

this

field are negligible and not very common as well.

However

, it is the duty of the players to maintain quality of the game without

caught

Suggestion

catching

into scandals.

Submitted by chinkiarora0528 on Tue Sep 24 2019

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

473 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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