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Writing Samples
Band 4

Companies should encourage employees who work in a high position to leave at the age of 55 in order to give opportunities to the new generation. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#companies #employees #work #position #age #opportunities #generation
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Many people believe that high position workers should retire as they reach 55 years old. I firmly agree with
this
 idea because of some reasons. On the one hand, encouraging employees in high job level leave companies in the mid age is one of the best ways to provide opportunities for
young generation
Suggestion
the young generation
. In contemporary society, numerous young people do not have suitable jobs after they graduate,
therefore
 many people have to do menial works to earn money. With
this
 type of
work
, the youth can not learn skills, knowledge as well as collect experiences which can be useful for their career.
Moreover
, as the number of young people seeks for
job keep
Accept comma addition
job, keep
 escalating, the number of jobless will be
increase
Suggestion
increased
. If job vacancies available are not as many as the number of unemployment, it will lead to the growth of unemployment rate.
On the other hand
, senior workers can guarantee
benefit
Suggestion
the benefit
 of companies when they leave at
age
Suggestion
the age
 of 55. When people become
elder
advanced in years; ('aged' is pronounced as two syllables)
older
, they are less able to
work
 productively owing to limited health and creation. Young people who can replace senior employees with fresh ideas, energy and chances to embrace new technology can
work
 more fruitful and contribute to the development of companies.
Furthermore
, retiring from
work
, workers can dedicate
time
 for their families and enjoy life without stress and pressure. When they are a part of
labour market
Suggestion
the labour market
, they devote their
time
for
Suggestion
to
work
,
as a result
, they can not allocate
time
 for their families and hobbies. High position employees have
financial capacity
Suggestion
the financial capacity
 to stop working at 55 years and do everything they want to do in
twilight years
Suggestion
the twilight years
. In conclusion, 55 years old is
golden
Suggestion
a golden time
the golden time
time
 to take retirement.
This
 decision is a good solution for companies, senior employees and especially
young
Suggestion
the younger
 generation.
Submitted by ngoctrangvu3008 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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