The percentage of overweight children in western countries has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend.

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There is no doubt that overweight children’s percentages rose by twenty percent in

western world

Suggestion

the western world

. There are several factors, which played

role

Suggestion

a role

the role

Also

, there are some effects of being overweight. On of the major factor that has contributed to increase in children’s weight is unhealthy

food

. Number of children eating unhealthy

food

Suggestion

are

on the rise, and number of increasing fast

food

restaurants are responsible for that.These

restaurant

Suggestion

restaurants

sell tasty

food

to attract

children but

Accept comma addition

children, but

these

food

Suggestion

foods

contain unhealthy ingredients,

for example

, fat and salt.

Secondly

, some advertisements that encourage children to eat unhealthy diet.

Lastly

, children do not give time

Suggestion

for

out door

located, suited for, or taking place in the open air

outdoor

activities because they spend more time watching television or playing games on computers at home, which led to

sedentary lifestyle

Suggestion

a sedentary lifestyle

As a result

, children become overweight. Overweight children are prone to many problems. They are more likely to suffer from chronic diseases like high blood pressure and diabetes, during their late age of life. These conditions are life threatening.

In addition

, these children can be tortured at school by peers, which can have effects on their mental health like stress, anxiety and insomnia. These problems, in turn, often result in lower productivity at school.

Futhermore

in addition

Furthermore

, they are less likely to be selected for

school’s

Suggestion

school

sport team because

selection team

Suggestion

the selection team

might concern about their fitness. In conclusion

Accept space

factors like poor diet, sedentary lifestyle because of

advance

Suggestion

advancements

in technology

has led

Suggestion

have led

to increase in overweight children, and these may cause serious physiological and psychological problems to

children

Suggestion

children's

child's

health.

Submitted by JAS on Tue Oct 01 2019

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

249 words

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The percentage of overweight children in western countries has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend.

Fully explain your ideas

In some cultures elderly people are highly valued, while in some other cultures youth are more valued. Discus both views and give your own opinion.

In some countries, many more people are choosing to live alone nowadays than in the past. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

The internet has transformed the way information is shared and consumed, but it has also created problems that did not exist before.What are the most serious problems associated with the internet and what solutions can you suggest?

Nowadays, there are many individuals who wants to self-employed. Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages?

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situation. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.