IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that only those people who have worked for a company for many years should be promoted to a higher position.Do you agree?

#people #company #years #position
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There is an opinion that
primarily
Suggestion
primary
 staff members who have dedicated many years to working for a particular
company
 should be given executive positions in a
company
.
Accept space
.
I disagree with
this
viewpoint in as
Suggestion
viewpoint as
 much as younger workers may have more skills and if not provided with an opportunity for a promotion
,
Accept space
,
they will be
demotivated
.
Although
 senior employees
have proved
Suggestion
have proven
 to be more reliable and loyal
,
Accept space
,
more often than not, it is novices who have a cluster of actual skills.
This
 is because young specialists exert their full effort in mastering their hard and soft skills in order to meet the requirements of today's highly competitive job market.
Therefore
, having been promoted,
such
 workers may bring innovation and help to better incorporate the latest technological advances into business processes which is irreplaceable for every
company
 to flourish. Yet another reason why less
experienced
Suggestion
Experienced
 staff members should have even chances for a promotion is that
otherwise
 they will not be motivated to do their best. Knowing
that
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that, however
however
 how hard they try, they will not be given higher position in a
company
,
Accept space
,
young employees are likely to grow reluctant to go to the extra mile, which may negatively affect a
company
 's revenue and curb its development. To illustrate
,
Accept space
,
a prominent entrepreneur
,
Accept space
,
 Pavel Durov had to leave his
first
 workplace
since despite
Accept comma addition
since, despite
 his outstanding abilities, he was not rewarded with a leading role.
As a result
, he has successfully set up his own business
,
Accept space
,
while his employer lost his
company
 due to a lack of highly qualified workers. To sum up, even though individuals who have worked fewer years for a particular
company
 might be less trustworthy
,
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,
 they should be equally promoted as they have up-to-date knowledge and skill sets.
Besides
 that,
this
 will encourage them to apply their abilities to the fullest
,
Accept space
,
thus
 contributing to the prosperity of a
company
.
Submitted by itsmesarju on
IELTS tutor Anna Klimova, Instagram @ielts_as_it_is

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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