IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Nowadays people are working too hard,what is the reason for that. what should employers do to prevent people form this.

An employed individual is regarded as responsible in some climes. Recently it has been observed that people are spending more time working
.
Accept space
.
This
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 essay would
first
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 discuss the possible reason that
have led
Suggestion
has led
 to the habit and
also
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 discuss what employers can do to stop it. One contributing factor that has made different individuals
work
Use synonyms
 round the clock is rising
cost
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 of Living. In major cities the
cost
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 of living is quite on the high side and
this
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 has a direct effect on the financial muscle of different people.
For example
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 the
cost
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 of renting an apartment might be 4 times the
cost
Use synonyms
 if it were to be in a less urban area.
This
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 has led people tend to
work
Use synonyms
 in 2 or 3 places in a day in order to make a considerable income to settle their bills and attend to family needs as well. Employers can put to stop to
this
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 issue by introducing incentives and benefits that might go a long way in alleviating some of an employee needs. Staff housing is a good option.
For example
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, if staff were aware that they would be provided with a staff
quarters
Suggestion
quarter
 close to
work
Use synonyms
 and have to part with a subsidized amount of their income, their mind would only be focused on
work
Use synonyms
 without
been distracted
Suggestion
being distracted
 by other issues. Another option is the issue of commensurate wages, most individuals
work
Use synonyms
 so hard and they don’t get an equal wage for the amount of effort put into
work
Use synonyms
, employers should try to ensure that their employees are compensated well. In conclusion,
this
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 essay has been able to discuss a
major reason
Suggestion
major reason is that
that is
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 making people
work
Use synonyms
 so hard and
also
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 palliatives that can be done by employers in addressing
this
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 situation.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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