IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many countries, very few young people read newspapers or follow the news on TV. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?

#countries #people #newspapers #news #tv
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
News
provide
Suggestion
provides
 information
of
Suggestion
about
latest incidents
Suggestion
the latest incidents
 occurring both globally and locally. It is important to stay in touch of news because what’s said on it has an impact on people. Headlines in news
gives
Suggestion
give
 the rough idea what’s going to be published on
news
Suggestion
the news
. There are some main areas focused on news
such
Linking Words
 as weather, business, sports and foreign. The news with minor importance is given in brief. Youngsters in
present
Suggestion
the present
 are attached to technology.
Consequently
Linking Words
, they are to be seen mostly with electronic gadgets or mobile phones. Comparing youngsters and elders, the elders grasp news through
television
Use synonyms
 and newspaper where most of the youngsters
don’t
Use synonyms
. Youngsters use their mobile phones to get in touch with news or some even
don’t
Use synonyms
 show any importance of
been
the state or fact of existing
being
 aware of
news
Suggestion
the news
. The cause of
such
Linking Words
behavior
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
 in youngsters is due to the evolution of technology. Newspapers and
television
Use synonyms
 are old fashioned and for them it’s a disgrace to use them and they
don’t
Use synonyms
 worth it.
However
Linking Words
, the mobile of course give more information than
television
Use synonyms
 or internet through internet. But it is up to the youngster to decide to watch it or not.
Subsequently
Linking Words
 youngsters are using
unicasting
Suggestion
devices unlike
Accept comma addition
devices, unlike
 broadcasting devices like
television
Use synonyms
 and they get
use
Suggestion
used
 to a self-
centered
being or placed in the center
centred
behavior
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
. Newspaper reading supports us to improve our vocabulary while updating us with news. Unfortunately, youngsters are not concerned about it. In my aspect I believe the youngsters should be given limited access
for
Suggestion
to
 their electronic gadget or devices. Parents should be responsible behalf of the youngster’s
behavior
manner of acting or controlling yourself
behaviour
 and always communicate with them. As
television
Use synonyms
 is a broadcasting device parents could invite them to sit with them and follow the news. Newspapers should be kept in a location where they move around often so that the headlines on the
first
Linking Words
 page with
large
Suggestion
larger
 pictures will tend them to read the newspaper
even, they
Suggestion
, they don’t even
don’t
Use synonyms
 make
effort
Suggestion
an effort
the effort
efforts
 to.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: