Since the 18th century technological advances have replaced people in the workplace. With today’s technology this process is happening at a greater rate. Technology is increasingly responsible for unemployment. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

In the current scenario, technical advancement had brought huge changes in the working atmosphere. In my opinion, even though it leads to a massive fall of human resources, it is
also
beneficial for a particular group of employees and the companies as overall. Modern technology has replaced
man power
Suggestion
the man power
with machine power. In the past, ground level works or manufacturing works were done by humans, but now, for production and packing processes, companies are depending on robotic or machine powers.
For instance
, in a report by CNN news, there is
huge hike
Suggestion
a huge hike
in the unemployment rate in the developed countries because of
modernization
Suggestion
the modernization
of
workplace
Suggestion
the workplace
. Another reason for the unemployment is, having
technological modification
Suggestion
a technological modification
has reduced the cost of production by less
labor
a social class comprising those who do manual labor or work for wages
labour
hours.
In addition
, within
few amount
Suggestion
a little amount
little amount
of time, there is
huge outflow
Suggestion
a huge outflow
of outputs.
In other words
, machines can complete a particular job within the half of time that an individual could take.
Finally
, top hierarchy level employees and companies are beneficial of the developed technologies. Changes in the technical backgrounds bring
comfy
Suggestion
comfortable
working and it could
helps
Suggestion
help
to produce accurate reports.
For example
, there are so many Enterprise Resource Planning (ERP) software’s are available in the market to plan and execute their daily tasks.
Furthermore
, emails and online banking system
helps
Suggestion
help
business to do the operation with the help of a laptop and an internet connection. In conclusion, even though IT revolution had brought
dramatically increase
Suggestion
a dramatic increase
dramatic increase
in unemployment of lower hierarchy level employees, it
has bring
Suggestion
has brought
fortunes to the economy as overall.
Submitted by haris.abdulkhader03 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: