Some people think that high salary is important when choosing a company to work for, while others think that good working atmosphere is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Many
people
dream
to
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of working
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work
in large
companies
these days because of
high
Add an article
the high
a high
show examples
package
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packages
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offered by them.
However
, some
people
choose these
companies
for high
salary
to
work
for,
while
others believe that working in a good
atmosphere
can be beneficial. In
this
essay, I will discuss
about
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apply
show examples
the
Remove the article
apply
show examples
both sides of the argument and give my opinion.
Firstly
, selecting a dream company is a big challenge
due to
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
heavy competition. Apart from that, maintaining
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
job security is the most difficult one.
For instance
, each year many graduates qualify their studies for jobs, but only 7 percent of
people
with high academic performances get
that
Correct determiner usage
those
show examples
job
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jobs
show examples
. So, it is important for an average
middle class
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middle-class
show examples
person to get a high
salary
to overcome their monthly
spendings
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spending
show examples
.
On the other hand
, other
people
believe that working in a good
atmosphere
can be advantageous.
Moreover
, healthy surroundings at our
work
can help the employees to
work
more effectively
as well as
it
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apply
show examples
develops
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develop
show examples
interest towards their
work
.
For example
,
the
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apply
show examples
famous
companies
like Google, Amazon,
Apple
Correct word choice
and Apple
show examples
offers
Correct subject-verb agreement
offer
show examples
memberships in clubs and recreational activities to motivate the employees who
work
in those
companies
. In conclusion, by the
above aforementioned
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above-aforementioned
show examples
points
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points,
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it is important to
work
for
high
Correct article usage
a high
show examples
salary
as well as
in a good
atmosphere
. In my humble opinion, it is more important to
work
in
a better surroundings
Correct the article-noun agreement
better surroundings
a better surrounding
show examples
rather than working for a high
salary
.
Although
many
companies
offer both higher
salary
Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
show examples
with a good
atmosphere
, it
should
Verb problem
is
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also
important for other
companies
to
make
Verb problem
create
show examples
a healthy
atmosphere
for their employees.

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task response
Address the prompt more directly by providing a more balanced discussion of both views. Include specific examples to support your points.
coherence cohesion
The logical structure of your essay is clear, but the arguments could be more effectively organized. Ensure that your introduction previews the points you will discuss and that your conclusion summarizes your main ideas.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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