IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Nowadays, experience is more valued in the workplace than knowledge in many countries. Do you think the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#workplace #countries #outweigh
Nowadays, unemployment is one of the most important issues
。
Suggestion
.
 The circumstance occurs because many companies in distinct nations require applicant must have
experience
 before they decide to recruit.
Furthermore
，
Suggestion
,
 having some
experience
 is considered more precious than only have knowledge. In
this
 essay, I will examine the benefits and drawbacks of
this
 matter before reaching a concrete decision
。
Suggestion
.
 Plenty of workplace might claim that hiring employees who have already worked several years and became a specialist in their field is
best choice
Suggestion
the best choice
 due to
thet
pointing out something
that
they
 must not teach many things.
Besides
 that, the
company
 can cut their budget of training staffs and
also
reduc
cut down on; make a reduction in
reduce
reduces
reduced
 time and money.
In contrast
, if they employ new fresh
graudates
receive an academic degree upon completion of one's studies
graduates
graduate
. They will spend more cost to train their worker need much
timeto
Suggestion
time to
 do that.
Therefore
, the Enterprise want to something that had already given an advantage. But, sometimes the staffs, who have many experiences, wish for receiving high
salory
something that remunerates
salary
salaries
 and the
company
 cannot shape them with their
company
's desire because they will feel stubborn with their skill
However
，
Suggestion
,
 if the people
，
Suggestion
,
 who want to apply that job
，
Suggestion
,
 only have a practical knowledge
。
Suggestion
.
 They will be amazement due to they have never found in their University. But, occasionally they can learn faster than the employee who have already worked
in
Suggestion
with
 long time and the workplace can
mold
form in clay, wax, etc
mould
 anything what the
company
 want to do.
Somewhile
Suggestion
Somewhere
, the staff who have 3 or 5 years of
experience
 before, must adapt at different places. In conclusion, both
experience
 and knowledge are
importance
Suggestion
important
 for application criteria. If the candidate lack one of two standard, the thing that mentions before, will be
happen
Suggestion
happening

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • valued
  • workplace
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • experience
  • knowledge
  • mentor
  • colleagues
  • innovation
  • stagnation
  • traditional methods
  • recent graduates
  • theoretical knowledge
  • diversity
  • viewpoints
  • proven ability
  • stability
  • industries
  • technology
  • adaptation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: