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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many people working longer hours, leaving little time for leisure activities. What are the advantages and disadvantages..

#people #hours #time #leisure #activities
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Many people working longer hours, leaving little
time
Use synonyms
 for leisure activities. What are the advantages and disadvantages.. In
present epoch
Suggestion
the present epoch
 people are running for the luxuries of life, have no
time
Use synonyms
 for themselves. Several humans like to stay more at their workplace
Linking Words
then
conjunction used in comparatives
than
 their homes and do not have enough
time
Use synonyms
 for any physical activity.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss the merits and demerits of
this
Linking Words
 issue. There are two primary advantages of working late in the office.
Firstly
Linking Words
, employees working extra hours for extra earnings so that they can support their families in a better way which can
fulfill
put in effect
fulfil
 their needs. According to the latest research in America, almost 80% of workers like to do overtimes to get
handsome amount
Suggestion
a handsome amount
 of salary by which they
do
engage in
make
 savings for their future.
Secondly
Linking Words
, new hirings like to work late because they want to get more exposure and hands on experience in their respective fields. To exemplify,
China where
Accept comma addition
China, where
 internees spend more
time
Use synonyms
 in the workplace
Linking Words
then
conjunction used in comparatives
than
 their permanent
staff which
Accept comma addition
staff, which
 is beneficial for their job performance. Overall, it is advantageous to work late for added income and to get expertise. There are two negative aspects
for
Suggestion
of
 the people who are working late and not taking part in any physical exercise. To start with, poor diet which is producing diseases.
For example
Linking Words
,
Accept space
,
 in 2018
obesity
Suggestion
obese
 and deficiency of vitamins were the most common issues among employed persons in Japan.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, due to
this
Linking Words
 sedentary lifestyle in organisations
,
Accept space
,
 persons are facing back problem. As per the recent research in Britain, lack of sporting activities and sitting on the chairs for
longer
Suggestion
long
 periods of
time
Use synonyms
 causing back pain among several workers.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is inadequate by not going for a walk or a run and follow
busy working schedule
Suggestion
a busy working schedule
. To sum up, following strict working pattern has its own benefits and downsides. Keeping busy at workplace for
lengthy
Suggestion
long
longer
 hours is good for extra
money but
Accept comma addition
money, but
 at the same
time
Use synonyms
 it is producing illness due to physical inactivity.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • burnout
  • work-life balance
  • productivity
  • financial gain
  • career advancement
  • skill development
  • personal fulfillment
  • physical health
  • mental health
  • social life
  • quality of life
  • neglect
  • leisure activities
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