IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing railway lines for very fast trains between cities.  Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#countries #people #sums #money #railway #lines #trains #cities #transport
In present world railway system and
road
system both
Accept comma addition
system, both
 are most important
transport
 methods.Some believe that countries
should spent
Suggestion
should spend
 more
money
 on building new railways.Others argue that
government
Suggestion
the government
should spent
Suggestion
should spend
 more
money
 on development of
road
transport
 methods. In
this
 essay I will discuss both
side
Suggestion
sides
 relevant to
this
 topic On one hand, trains are able to carry more passengers at the same
time
.
As a result
 of
this
, the amount of carbon dioxide release
in to
expresses motion to a point on, or within, something
into
air
Suggestion
the air
 will decrease.
Moreover
, trains are much faster and cost less to travel By travelling using the trains, travellers avoid the traffic jams and
this
help
Suggestion
helps
 them to earn their
time
 and work on
time
. For an instance, in my country Sri Lanka
,,
Suggestion
,
 it takes 1.30 hours for my
mom
 to go to work if she
use
Suggestion
uses
 the
road
transport but
Accept comma addition
transport, but
 by train it takes only 45 minutes.
On the other hand
, sometimes trains being delayed and cancelled.
As a result
 of
this
plural of "this"
these
those
 passengers become inconvenient because they have to wait
long
Suggestion
a long time
time
 for the
next
 train. For an example, travellers who using public
transport
such
 as buses
are not facing to
Suggestion
are not facing
 these types of situation because there are various options in
road
 transportation.
In addition
, it costs
enormous amount
Suggestion
an enormous amount
 to construct new railroads than public
transport
.
Also
, nowadays most of travellers use their own vehicles because of
this
 there is no point of
spend
Suggestion
spending
 huge amount of
money
 on building new railroads. In conclusion, some argue that
government
Suggestion
the government
should spent
Suggestion
should spend
 more
money
 on constructing new railroad than roads because, trains are able to carry more passengers and they are more faster.
However
, opponents believe that countries
should spent
Suggestion
should spend
 more
money
 on
maintaince
activity involved in maintaining something in good working order
maintenance
 and development of existing roads because passengers have to wait
long
Suggestion
a long time
time
 if the trains cancelled and building new railways costs lots of
money
.
In contrast
, my personal opinion is countries should
spent
Suggestion
spend
 more
money
 on constructing railroads because of huge benefits and convenience of using trains.
Submitted by tashigamage08 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • infrastructure
  • efficient
  • congestion
  • sustainable
  • environmentally friendly
  • connectivity
  • economic growth
  • public transportation
What to do next:
Look at other essays: