IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Leaders and directors in organizations are often older people. Some people say that younger people could be leaders. Do you agree or disagree?

#leaders #directors #organizations #people
It is irrefutable that senior people
are usually hold
Suggestion
usually hold
have usually held
 the most essential roles
such
 as chief executive officer. Several people believe that young individuals can take lead in a company as well. I totally agree with
this
 idea for some reasons. On the one hand, older people have sufficient knowledge and skills to hold a position in a
director
Suggestion
directing
 board. When people grow older, they had worked in a variety of roles from entry to senior levels, learned critical skills and acquired a great amount of information, which enabled them to lead the whole
team
.
In addition
, in terms of age, younger people always respect as well as listen for directions from people who are older than they are.
Therefore
, it is clear that the elderly is trusted for
the highest
Suggestion
higher
the higher
the high
-level position.
On the other hand
, the number of young people with talent and leadership skills holding important positions
are increasing
Suggestion
is increasing
. Despite of young age, the youth nowadays can learn needed skills and knowledge and youth leadership programs thanks to the online sources from their early age.
Hence
, they might have known how to manage human resources, write a project proposal and implement that project since they were at school working on group assignments.
In addition
, a management
team
 or director
team
 usually consists of more than two people, which is a key to help a young leader to work effectively and successfully by grouping with people that are more senior.
For example
, Mark Zuckerburg, the founder of Facebook, he is younger than all people in the director board.
However
, with the help of that
team
, he has been managing and brought Facebook to one of the most successful social
platform
Suggestion
platforms
 around the world.
This
 shows that it is possible for young people to be leaders. In conclusion, I strongly believe that the youth can lead an organization well as senior people.
Submitted by lulaluclacfamily on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: