In the modern world it is possible to shop, work and communicate with people via the internet and live without any face-to-face contact with others. Is this a positive or negative development?

#world #shop #work #people #internet #contact #development

With

advancement

Suggestion

the advancement

technologies especially

Accept comma addition

technologies, especially

due to Internet humans life changed drastically.

Today people

Accept comma addition

Today, people

can do anything online without even facing or contacting with anyone. In my

opinion

Accept comma addition

opinion, this

this

change is completely against the

humans

Suggestion

human

social skills and relations with other persons.

First

of all, use of social and commercial websites

have

Suggestion

has

dangerous effects on

people

Suggestion

peoples'

person's

social activities.

This

limited their verbal communication and interaction with others, because while doing shopping e-commerce one doesn’t interact with any person. Personally, I have seen many of my friends afraid to approach to

girls

Suggestion

the girls

directly but prefer to communicate

Suggestion

with

social media.

Consequently

, relying more on online communication will deter one’s confidence to face someone and make them feel uncomfortable. Another reason would be that it

cause

Suggestion

causes

an un-trust in relations. We always heard that relations

becomes

Suggestion

become

strong with meets and greets.

Submitted by gagandeepsingh on Mon Oct 21 2019

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Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
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3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

138 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In the modern world it is possible to shop, work and communicate with people via the internet and live without any face-to-face contact with others. Is this a positive or negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

The percentage of 3 types of crimes: car theft, house burglary & street robbery in England & Wales from 1970 to 2015

Nowdays, many people have to work long time, and they feel more stressful than before. What are the reasons? What employers can do to make their life easier?

Some people believe that the government should spend more money putting in more works of art like paintings and statues in cities to make them better places to live in. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Social media has completely changed the way family and friends communicate with each other. What the reasons for this? Is this a positive or negative development?