Some people choose a career according to the social status and salary it will give them. Others choose a career according to whether they will enjoy the work. Which do you think is the best way to choose a career?

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Introduction

It is widely argued that people should prefer social ranks and salaries

instead

Linking Words

of an enjoyable

career

Use synonyms

. In my opinion, I believe that

satisfaction

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is more significant over status and money, which will be discussed

further

Linking Words

in the essay below.

Body paragraph 1

To start with, pursuing an enjoyable

career

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can improve happiness and health of an individual. As it requires a lifetime effort, finding a suitable pathway over salary can impact greatly to someone's well-being. Researchers discovered that over 55% cancer patients normally generated from the stress over the years and less

satisfaction

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towards their

career

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. Scientists

also

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stated that money will never be able to exchange a healthy body and mind, when it comes to work.

Therefore

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, deciding a correct job can directly affect to the mental and physical well-being of a person.

Body paragraph 2

In addition

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work

Suggestion

worker

satisfaction

Use synonyms

can increase the focus and success

for

Suggestion

the employees.

This

Linking Words

is due to the fact that they find a personal motivation to do the work,

instead

Linking Words

of the company's force. According to 'The Economist' magazine, 85% employees that recently received a promotion, spent over 9hours daily in order to acquire more skills and knowledge.

Moreover

Linking Words

survey

Suggestion

the survey

also

Linking Words

suggested that employees who love their jobs have more focus and willingness to improve their abilities.

Hence

Linking Words

, finding an enjoyable

career

Use synonyms

generally can impact greatly to an employee's success and promotion.

Conclusion

To conclude, I believe that employees should pursue

jobs

Suggestion

job

satisfaction

Use synonyms

over ranks and salaries, since people should be able to enjoy their lifetime

career

Use synonyms

Moreover

Linking Words

, deciding the right pathway can directly affect their mental and physical health, and higher chances of promotions and successes in the field.

Oct 24, 2019

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8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

271 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

fulfillment
job satisfaction
social stature
monetary compensation
vocational passion
societal norms
pragmatism
longevity
intrinsic motivation
external pressures
economic stability
adaptability
work-life balance
prosperity
self-actualization
financial pragmatism
career trajectory
vocational contentment
occupational prestige
personal alignment

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