IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Increasing the price of petrol is the best way to solve growing traffic and pollution problems to what extent do you agree or disagree

#price #petrol #traffic #pollution
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Nowadays roads are congested and
Use synonyms
air
Suggestion
the air
 is extremely polluted because of increasing
use
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 of vehicles. Some people believe that the rising
price
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 of
petrol
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 will be solved
traffic
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 yam and
air
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 pollutions.
However
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, growing up
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price
Suggestion
the price
 of
petrol
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 is not the suitable solution for
this
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 problem.
This
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 essay will disagree with the statement and provide alternative solutions. Generally, if the government increases the
price
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 of
petrol
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, local people will effect on financial. Because,
thecountryside
Suggestion
the countryside
 has not development of
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transport system
Suggestion
the transport system
,
therefore
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 people who are living there,
use
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 personal vehicles for their transportation. Rich people are not considered about cost of fuel because, money is not
biggest problem
Suggestion
the biggest problem
. As the result of increasing the
price
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 will
caused
Suggestion
cause
life style
Suggestion
the life style
a life style
 of local people.
On the other hand
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, the government should develop transportation facilities
such
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 as rearranging the roads, increase the amount of signal light and
traffic
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 guides. Due to
this
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 improvement will be
helped
Suggestion
helping
on
Suggestion
to
 reduce of congested on roads.
Furthermore
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, if the cost of train tickets will reduce most people prefer to
use
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train
Suggestion
trains
 rather than bus or own vehicles. There by development of
transport
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 facilities is
grater way
Suggestion
a grater way
a greater way
 to reduce
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traffic problem
Suggestion
traffic problems
the traffic problem
.
Finally
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, if the government will introduce the biofuel for low cost, most of the people consume biofuel for their
transport
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. Due to
this
Linking Words
 change will be
protected our
Accept comma addition
protected, our
 atmosphere through
environment
Suggestion
environmentally
 friendly substances.
For example
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, when we
use
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 biofuel to get energy, it releases water, oxygen and
the less amount
Suggestion
the least amount
 of carbon dioxide.
Therefore
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, increasing rate of
air
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 pollution will be controlled by using biofuels rather than
petrol
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. In conclusion,
traffic
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 and
air
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 pollution are not controlled by increasing
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price
Suggestion
the price
 of
petrol
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. Due to the development of
transport
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 facilities and introduce environmental friendly fuels will reduce the problems and the fact that there are more effective ways of controlling
traffic
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 and pollution problems.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • discourage
  • incentivize
  • environmentally friendly
  • greenhouse gas emissions
  • pollutants
  • alternative energy sources
  • sustainable economy
  • disproportionately affect
  • daily commuting
  • infrastructure
  • urban planning
  • comprehensive solutions
  • public transportation systems
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