IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

For many, shopping malls are great places to spend their leisure time and meet others. People, however, in the past mostly visited those when necessary. To what extent do you think this is a negative trend? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

A considerable number of people believe that large shopping centres are good for
meet ups
Use the right word
meet-ups
show examples
 and for spending spare
time
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
,
historically
Punctuation problem
historically,
show examples
 the trend was to go there only when required. In my opinion,
this
Linking Words
 is not an adverse change.
This
Linking Words
 essay shall cover reasons to show that
this
Linking Words
 behaviour is not bad.
Firstly
Linking Words
,
Correct article usage
the grand
show examples
grand mall
Fix capitalization
Grand Mall
show examples
 is well developed
keeping
Punctuation problem
, keeping
show examples
 all security aspects in mind. They have camera systems installed, security checkpoints,
guards
Correct word choice
and guards
show examples
 patrolling
making
Punctuation problem
, making
show examples
 it a safe place for everyone.
For instance
Linking Words
,
walk
Wrong verb form
walking
show examples
 down the road with your friends
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 or sitting in the park with family exposes as to
risk
Correct article usage
the risk
show examples
 of street crimes like snatching and harassment. Central surveillance systems in these shopping hubs make it less
liking
Use the right word
likely
show examples
 for
such
Linking Words
 incidents to occur. So everyone can hang out with a peaceful mind.
Moreover
Linking Words
, shopping malls have a variety of stores under the same roof, allowing you to have a whole experience. You can plan your
time
Use synonyms
 off work
according to
Linking Words
 your will without having to go
different
Change preposition
to different
show examples
 places
taking
Punctuation problem
, taking
show examples
 the hassle of driving.
For example
Linking Words
, you can
guy
Use the right word
buy
show examples
grocery
Fix the agreement mistake
groceries
show examples
, grab a sandwich, watch a movie and buy your favourite book all at once! And in
this
Linking Words
manner
Add a comma
manner,
show examples
 it saves both
time
Use synonyms
 and energy. People have been for long
seeking
Verb problem
been seeking
show examples
 secure places to spend their
time
Use synonyms
 with friends and family
and
Punctuation problem
, and
show examples
such
Linking Words
 places provide just that. It possesses all the essentials to cover our shopping and entertainment needs. In conclusion, I would reinforce that
this
Linking Words
 change in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society is a good one.

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task response
Make your view clear at the start. Say if you think malls are good or not and why.
task response
Add more points about the bad side too, then show why the good side is stronger.
stance
Clear view that malls can be good for meet ups.
content
Uses examples to show safety and time saved.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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