The line graph below shows the percentage of tourists to England who visited four different attractions in Brighton. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Write at least 150 words. IELTS Writing Sample

The line graph below shows the percentage of tourists to England who visited four different attractions in Brighton.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Write at least 150 words.

IELTS Writing Sample
The bar chart illustrates the portion of men, women and
children
who consumed
fruits
and
vegetables
over an 8
year-period
Correct your spelling
year period
show examples
from 2001 to 2008 in the UK.
Overall
, the consumption of
fruits
and
vegetables
was highest by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
women, followed by men who were moderate and the least proportion accounts for
children
. The percentage of women who ate
fruits
and
vegetables
was about 22% in 2001.
This
percent
Replace the word
percentage
show examples
increased rapidly and by 2006 it has reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
almost 35%, and
then
dropped to 30% in 2008.
Then
the
percent
Replace the word
percentage
show examples
of men and
children
who ingested
fruits
and
vegetables
was stable from 2001 to 2003 with almost 17% and 12% each.
Then
the rate has elevated slowly since 2004 and in 2006 it was noted as approximately 23% and 28% respectively.
However
, in 2007 the male who had intake
fruits
Change preposition
of fruits
show examples
and
vegetables
were consistent, but the percentage of kids who ate these
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
shot up to 25%.
Finally
, in 2008 the proportion of
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
and
children
consuming the food dropped to about 26% and 24% each.

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Vocabulary: Replace the words children, fruits, vegetables with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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