IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

some prople argue that it is more important to have an enjoyable job than to earn a lot of money. Others disagree and think that a good salary leads to a better life. discuss both views and give your opinion.

#prople #job #money #salary #life
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It has always been argued among people
wether
introduces two alternatives
whether
either
 to choose a
job
Use synonyms
 that you like doing it or a
job
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 that pays more. Every group
have
Suggestion
has
 some solid reason for their opinion. In my view both groups have ideas worth considering. The major concept behind having a
job
Use synonyms
 is to earn
money
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 and as the wage goes up it could change many things in someones
life
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.
we
Suggestion
We
 people have to
work
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 for almost thirty years in our
life
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 to reach retirement and a
job
Use synonyms
 with good salary not only means more
money
Use synonyms
 in your
worklife
Suggestion
work life
 but
also
Linking Words
 more when you reach retirement and in a world that
money
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 can change almost
evey
(used of count nouns) each and all of the members of a group considered singly and without exception
every
 aspect of
life
Use synonyms
 earning more
money
Use synonyms
 has always been appealing. Apposing to the idea of better
money
Use synonyms
 leads to better
life
Use synonyms
 quality, there are people who
conside
deem to be
consider
 the time you spend at
work
Use synonyms
 a very important part of
life
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 and conclude that if you do what you like the most as a
job
Use synonyms
 you will be a happier person
eventhough
Suggestion
even though
 if it does not pays as much as boring or hard jobs.
This
Linking Words
 idea comes from the notion that an adult person spend most of his time at
work
Use synonyms
 and
of
from a particular thing or place or position
off
 he
persue
win approval or support for
persuade
person
 himself to
work
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 in jobs that are stressful with high workload or long shift works or even jobs that demand working in
hazardus
involving risk or danger
hazardous
 conditions, there is a great chance that he becomes depressed or even put his
life
Use synonyms
 in danger. So it does not worth it. In conclusion working in
Use synonyms
job
Suggestion
a job
jobs
 which results in better salary has a lot of benefits and so do a
job
Use synonyms
 which you enjoy doing it and does not impose
great amount
Suggestion
a great amount
 of stress and
job
Use synonyms
 demands on you. In my
view it
Accept comma addition
view, it
 is the best to find a
job
Use synonyms
 that has some good aspects of both
side
Suggestion
sides
 of the argument and do not make an extreme decision.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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