some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money others argue that it is better to try and improve such situation discuss both views and give your own opinion

It is often said that people who are suffering from a lack of money
willing
Add a missing verb
are willing
show examples
to stay in the same circumstance and they do not attempt any achievements.
However
, the issue is not entirely straightforward and arguments can
also
be made against the idea.
This
essay will discuss the debate and give a concluding view. On the one hand, those who support the acceptance of the current status cite the various reasons for
this
idea. They don't want to change their constant
life
and they
preferred
Wrong verb form
prefer
show examples
to have a stable income. These kinds of people have fears of losing their jobs and
consequently
, their confidence in their
life
.
As a result
, they find it difficult to pursue their dreams. Another argument is that
this
type of person usually has huge pecuniary burdens on their shoulders.
Such
as bank debt or monthly family expenditure. To protect their current conditions and not
facing
Wrong verb form
face
show examples
any challenges in their
life
they would rather be satisfied with
this
position. To the supporters of the idea, these reasons are convincing. Having said that, the opponent of
this
viewpoint out that we have a chance
of
Change preposition
at
show examples
life
in the global only once and we deserve to have the best.
Therefore
they
continuing
Wrong verb form
continue
show examples
expanding their abilities and
enhance
Wrong verb form
enhancing
show examples
their lives at a higher quality level and they never give up.
Besides
,
this
type of individual has big
ambition
Fix the agreement mistake
ambitions
show examples
about a career path
as well as
income. By
this
, I mean that, if their current job cannot give them a new experience and high promotion or salary, they will not hesitate to leave those companies.
This
argument
also
appears to be
quiet
Correct your spelling
quite
show examples
powerful.
Overall
, I would tend to side with the opponent of
this
subject.
Although
many people have an acceptable attitude in their current lives it seems advisable to remove obstacles with strong support and can overcome any tough challenges.

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coherence cohesion
Improve the structure of your essay by organizing your ideas in a more logical sequence. Make sure to have a clear introduction, body paragraphs addressing the prompt, and a conclusion.
task achievement
You have provided a fair response to the task but try to focus on fully addressing all parts of the question. Make sure your examples and ideas are relevant and clearly support your arguments.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Contentment
  • Resilience
  • Personal growth
  • Endurance
  • Initiative
  • Advancement
  • Catalyst
  • Financial stability
  • Status quo
  • Innovation
  • Missed opportunities
  • Life satisfaction
  • Adverse situations
  • Taking control
  • Risk assessment
  • Change management
  • Self-improvement
  • Motivation
  • Stagnation
  • Proactivity
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